I think I am going to start working harder now on conquering my fear of death. It is something that I have embraced as the tool it was/is for long enough. Feels like one of the last big issues in my mind.
I think it is something that was always a bit dormant in me my entire life. Something that would inevitably surface at some point in time though. It would have popped up at some point and I would have had to deal with it in one form or another. Whether it would have been during a midlife crisis or in my case when I was faced with severe depression that brought it out in a big way.
I’m not sure how much I fear death, but rather what I will be thinking about when it happens. I guess it could possibly be argued that I fear the fear a bit more. I don’t fear it in a way that I am necessarily scared of something like a meteor falling on my head when I am not paying attention or dying in my sleep. This famous Woody Allen quote might definitely ring true for me, “I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens”.
It can be absolutely mind-boggling what a person can think at times. I can recall in the past during some depressing times, having some suicidal thoughts because I didn’t want to feel the fear of death anymore. The thoughts can really consume you. It can really be just the thoughts themselves you are so scared of.
But, I bought a book called “Free yourself from Death anxiety”. I figure I will give a read and see if it can get me down some new mental paths and open my mind in new ways. Hopefully it helps anyways. I will ofcourse keep trying to develop some of my own methods as well. Definitely a tricky one, right now it feels like a permanent fixture in my mind. But perhaps that doesn’t always have to be the case.
Will keep you updated on this new Journey. The book should arrive in a couple days and will go from there. Hope everyone is having a good day!
theeclecticschizophrenic.com 