Time for a little break…

Think I might take a week or two off from posting… I will however probably finish the book club this week, it’s the last chapter and then will take a break from that as well. It may actually prove difficult to find another book I can write along with so easily without compromising any of its contents and break any sort of fair use clause… I am actually a bit amazed with how well the book club went, right book at the right time I suppose, almost like it was meant to happen 

Just a culmination of things right now… going through a little bout of depression/stress at the moment as well… I made many steps forward before this little step back though, so that is good… this too shall pass, hopefully pretty quick I was a bit surprised by some of my old thoughts that re-surfaced this time around, not completely out of the woods yet I guess…  

Just not too much drive to come up with or elaborate on ideas write now… who knows, maybe I’ll make a full recovery by the end of the week! 

Still think I am on the right track though… I have pushing myself pretty hard to mold my brain into a better line of thinking, think I am doing the right things for the long run, just some old habits seem to be dying hard…  

I think what it comes down to… is that my brain and I are still learning how to truly accept my situation and be happy within certain confines… Which can certainly be done… I can be very happy in my situation… I feel like the luckiest person in the World on many days if I am being honest… I just have a hard time not getting really excited about some ideas sometimes, which don’t end up working out… It feels like it is kind of out of my control sometimes, my brain just automatically imagines all of the possibilities… Then it is just depressing and stressful when those possibilities are out of the question… Which can then open up an entire bag of old negative mental paths, thoughts, and emotions… Not pleasant… 

Getting there! I’ll be back! 

Book Club (Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely): Chapter 14…

Thoughts in order while reading the chapter…

 

I would be curious to see this study done on regular poker players who regularly use chips in place of cash to play

  • They may more easily correlate a token with cash and not cheat as much
  • Or does it mean that people are more likely to cheat when using chips and not cash?
  • I would think playing regularly might strengthen the token to cash relationship
  • I guess a poker player already having a token relationship may have not been optimal for this study… as they are trying to pick something removed from cash
  • Interesting… has interesting implications for casinos and people that cheat…
  • Hmmm…

Pretty wild how much can be justified just by being slightly removed from the cash itself… especially if there are other variables that can help us justify our actions…

  • Like he was saying, the compounded variables and being removed from the money could have profound implications in the online business world… People can come to feel like guiltless criminals… Heightened by an economic situation/culture largely driven by desperation can make it easy to justify…

Can’t help but think of how much of a catalyst desperation is in regard to how much of an influence this dishonesty has over us

  • Desperation is often so overlooked… even the author was much more inclined to quickly point the finger to greed, which can also play a big part of course…

Some powerful thoughts on these subjects and some interesting closing comments as well

  • What are the implications in a cashless society?
  • Perhaps when cash is gone, we won’t be one stepped removed from virtual currency anymore? Perhaps societies conscious will view the tokens like we view cash now potentially? That may be wishful thinking…
  • I still have some hope for the future though!

Would God choose a more Humanesque life?

Just been doing some thinking about God & Heaven recently… I started wondering if God in Heaven would choose to live a more humanesque life… 

I contend that this universe was designed for a specific plan and purpose… that while I don’t think it is actually predetermined in a literal sense, I believe that it was just planned so well, that it is essentially predetermined… that is how smart God is, planning things even like mosquito bites… understands us so well that he could plan and see things billions of years into the future, if not more… 

I just don’t think in heaven that God would always want to see endlessly into an eternal future… I don’t think he would always want to know how someone is going to respond to him… I think that would actually be pretty horrible in my opinion… seems like something that would drive someone completely nuts… I personally think he will dumb himself down a bit to live a more human life… at least the vast majority of time… 

I guess I would argue that being too smart would make for a horrible existence in the long run, especially if you want to be social… that there are many advantages in dumbing down to an optimal level in order to achieve happiness… 

Obviously, it is nice to be smart enough to set everything up and then be able to go to the optimal intelligence to enjoy everything… 

Just some random thoughts anyways… Makes sense though rightInteresting movie premise as well… 

If I was in the Think Tank at Instacart…

Sometime ago, while looking at part time jobs, I stumbled across a company called Instacart. It is a grocery delivery service, seemed like something I might be able to do, or do without being to miserable… which I think it would be better if they let employees become their own bosses a bit more… 

As it stands, you sign up for your hours and they give you orders to fill as they come in, which this is good and should still be an option… but I also like the idea of an option to build clientele and have your own regulars or set up your own schedule for that matter… this would be better for the company and the employee… and a lot of clients as well… 

Then the employees would be much more inclined to market the company and themselves to try and get regular customers… This could greatly expand the company and allow employees to become their own bosses in many ways. I also have to imagine that many clients would also like to have a regular person that buys and delivers their groceries, even better someone they know or a family friend… Eventually they might want them to just drop them off in the fridge if they trusted them enough… 

I just personally think this would improve the company in many ways… could cut down on a lot of employee dissatisfaction as well… I think this also makes the system a bit fairer as well…  

It’s always good in my opinion to allow people to be their own bosses as much as possible within the limits of the job… this seems like a good company that could really benefit from it… 

Just an idea anyways… 

Book Club (Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely): Chapter 13…

Thoughts in order while reading the chapter… 

People’s monitors are probably still on when they take an office pen… they are taking them on an on needed basis for work related purposes, they are able to justify it… to take a full box wouldn’t be as needed… 

  • Could be what a lot of people are thinking anyways… not that I don’t get the point he is making. 
  • Not that there aren’t people taking pens for unrelated work reasons as well… 

It’s kind of funny to think about a student deciding to go all in on cheating and give himself a 100… then just completely defend it… Just saying, “Aced it”… 

  • Funny in a spoof kind of way 
  • Not funny in a sociopath kind of way… 
  • To say that a spoof of this study could be humorous… 
  • I am happy that honesty is important to the majority of people! Especially when it becomes a part of them… 

Sad to hear about the state of affairs in professionalism. Definitely speaks to a larger cultural problem… a nation gone to hell, or at least on its way… 

  • In regard to lawyers… my personal opinion on defense lawyers, if you know your client is guilty and you are helping them get away with it, in the eyes of God you are an accessory to the crime, a getaway driver… 
  • Many lawyers tend to think the worse the crime they can get a person off for, especially if they are obviously guilty, the better for business… very sad and disheartening… 

A good portion of the problem in my opinion is desperation, greed, and taking God out of the World… Also, just a lot of bad advice in general… we have certainly lost a sense of community as well… a cultural collapse indeed… 

  • I could go on… sure there are probably an infinite amount of reasons we have started our decent into chaos… broken families, abuse, bad role models, etc… 
  • In my head, I think the world is doing much better now and working together more than any other point in history… starting to feel like one team working towards common goals… A big family I should say, A “Giant Eternal Family”…  (would make a nice blog post title!) 

Not much from me this week… was more just reading along and taking it all in… 

My Miracle on the Golf Course… or was it spidey-sense?

I think I experienced a miracle while playing golf one day… I joke sometimes that it was my spider-sense… 

Anyways, at a local golf course near me, there is a pretty short par 4. Usually, if people are standing on the green and a golfer wants to go for it, they will wait until the golfers finish up. But of course, some people are too impatient and decide to tee off and go for it anyways while people are still on the green… they decide it is worth is to take the risk and put their fellow golfers in harm’s way… idiots… understanding my situation now, perhaps someone was paid to take a shot at the green to make me mad or something, considering I was probably right in the heart of the initiation… 

Well, my friend and I are on the green putting, standing right near the flag… all of a sudden, just something internally pulls my head to the left… I don’t know how to describe it, before I even felt I needed to duck/pull to the left my body was already pulling me that way, I decided to just go with it and didn’t fight this internal intuitive movement… I ducked left with no warning… didn’t hear the guy tee off, didn’t hear him yell fore or anything… I just ducked left… which as I did, a ball goes flying by right where my head just was, would have been a direct hit to the back of my head… a full out drive to the back of the head would not have been good… could have maybe even killed me… 

I turn around to look at the guy and he is like already getting out his phone or something… I almost felt like he was calling someone else to tell them what he just witnessed or something… this was a very confusing time for me back then, when I first really started to think I was in the middle of some big conspiracy and was trying to figure everything out… it was very crazy time for sure… I did not know what to make of the events that just unfolded… I am not even sure my friend realized exactly what happened to me, just that a ball had almost hit us… I’m not sure he realized I just experienced some miracle/spidey-sense in order to dodge a direct hit to the back of the head… 

We just kinda played on without getting into any discussion or anything… it almost wasn’t even out of the ordinary for me in a way… I have always been naturally deeply religious, so when something religousy happened to me, it always just came off as something more normal or understandable, not something that I really needed to discuss with anybody else… it also seemed like a rather small occurrence compared to everything else happening to me at the time… plus, who would even listen, and judging by what I was going through, who would even act like they cared, or it was a big deal? 

My story might have ended that day…  

It is definitely crazy, I will swear on anything that that is the truth though… Sometimes I wonder if the guy yelled fore and I didn’t hear him, but part of my mind heard him and decided to move, but that wasn’t my normal reaction when I heard someone yell fore, also my friend didn’t move like he heard someone yell… I wondered if perhaps my brain heard the ball cutting through the air or something and knew I had to move… something… whatever it was, it wasn’t something I was consciously aware of, it wasn’t a conscious decision… my brain or something just pulled my head to the left and made me get out of the way just in time… crazy… 

That is my miracle on the golf course story though… still not sure exactly what happened, but I know it was out of my control for the most part… 

The more you Yell, the more you will have to Yell…

My thoughts can sometimes go against contemporary views of psychology…  

I for one am for internalizing problems… Or I could say, eventually internalizing problems, as some stressors become too overwhelming to internalize for some time… 

I am for allowing the subconscious brain to learn mental paths, that allow it to deal with problems in the fastest way possible, to also allow it to learn to deal with problems without needing outside influences… to allow your subconscious brain to find a healthy way to deal with a stressor and achieve homeostasis… 

Your brain wants to achieve homeostasis… it doesn’t want to be stressed out… when a new stressor comes into your life, your brain will start working tirelessly to find the right mental paths to make the stress go away as fast as possible, which it can take a great deal of trial and error… 

The thing is though, if you allow your brain to figure out how deal with a stressor… it can then use those same mental paths when you deal with that stressor or a similar stressor again… which eventually something that had previously stressed you out, won’t stress you out the next time, because your brain figured out the best way to deal with it… it is why your first heartbreak is usually the hardest, and following ones are dealt with much faster and easier… it isn’t as much that you are growing numb, rather your brain is figuring out how to deal with that stressor rather efficiently, it knows just the right mental paths to use, eventually it can all happen rather subconsciously… 

That is why I tend to be against venting for the most part, especially unhealthy venting… venting is a shortcut… If I start yelling when I am stressed out, to relieve the stress, that is how my brain is learning to deal with the problem… it isn’t learning how to properly deal with it… it is learning that if you yell, you can get a quick release from the pain… You are teaching it an unhealthy way to deal with stress… which the more you yell, the more you will have to yell… eventually your brain will try to use yelling for every single problem, every little thing… you will start yelling and venting about everything… trust me, I know… 

Which your brain will start trying to make you yell as well, because that is what you taught it… so when a little problem comes up, your brain will start making it worse and worse in your head and bringing up every other thing that makes you mad in order to make you mad enough to yell and get it all out of your system… It just turns into a terrible existence of constantly being mad over every little thing and yelling about everything… it literally hurts being that angry all the time… you don’t want to kill yourself because your depressed, you want to kill yourself because the anger and yelling/venting hurts… 

Yelling is a shortcut… drinking is a shortcut… drugs are a shortcut… they are all bad ways of teaching your brain how to deal with problems… your brain starts to think they are the only way to deal with problems and will do everything in its power for you to use the shortcut… it will use every trick in the book… will remind you of all the good times you had drinking if it needs to, whatever it needs to do in order for you to use your shortcut… 

The thing is, sometimes some things happen in our life that are too overwhelming… too many stressors we have never dealt with all come at us at once…. we pretty much need to vent at that point in time… that is a good time to learn good venting habits like breathing techniques, meditation, mindfulness, writing, journaling, working out, talking to a therapist, etc… there are healthier shortcuts and ways to vent… the thing is though, these are also things that your brain can get addicted to as shortcuts… that is why I say eventually the goal is to internalize everything and teach your brain healthy mental paths to deal with problems in the future… As the things become less stressful you can further internalize them and have your subconscious learn how to deal with them on their own… Not that meditation, mindfulness, working out aren’t good things to practice regularly as well, they also become a proactive solution as well… But you don’t want to feel like you need to be in the gym all hours of the day to get some stress out, you know what I mean… 

It is important to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel… also important to realized it can be a long path if your brain has managed to get really screwed up… there are no magic pills that take the pain away overnight… you are in for a fight… starts off with just a little relief here and there, but those times start to happen more often and last longer… its two steps forward one step back, you will slip up sometimes on your journey, but they become less and less and start to feel out of character… eventually its 3 steps forward, 1 step back… then 4… then 5… they key is to never give up…  

I will probably have a separate blog post about the long road of recovery, can take years and a lot of will power… 

It hurts when you start to internalize anger… I know from experience… It is a long-term gain, short term pain type situation… Many people will probably worry they are going to have a heart attack or something, that has always been a source of fear when internalizing things… there might be some truth in it, but it is probably worse on your heart in the long term if you continue the horrible cycle of anger and venting/yelling/alcohol/drugs… check with your medical professionals of course, as I am not a doctor… I just know that eventually if you want to have a healthy brain you are going to have to learn to internalize things and let your brain figure out ways to deal with things on its own… not with venting shortcuts… 

Just some short thoughts on the topic… the more you yell, the more you will have to yell… Rings very true in my own life story…