This is living the dream a bit…

Well my disability hearing got pushed back… It of course would fall on the national day of mourning (Government shutdown) for George H.W. Bush… my thoughts on that perhaps tomorrow… 

I did a little investigating, and realized that my hearing may be pushed back a few months potentially, which then I would have to wait to get the decision as well, which could potentially be another few months, so realizing I might have another 6 months before I really find out about anything, I decided I would try to change things up a little bit. 

What I did was, I arranged a new working arrangement with my father. Instead of just coming in for a little while in the morning, I am going to hang out at the shop all day and spread my work out over the course of the day. I am able to do this because he has a little apartment above the shop that nobody is using… so I have turned it into a little simple office/living room…. 

So, throughout the day, in between working I can work on my blog, write articles, paint, marketing, tweeting, and really try to take a shot at developing a writing career. Thinking down the road, I thought it may even be fun to do a podcast someday, perhaps if I get following. 

I think a very big part of this initiation/bet (See about me section), and actually my whole life, is covering up any notion that I am a savant, or very smart. Everything gets downplayed and they always try to keep me in the illusion that I am average (nothing wrong with being average of course!) So, essentially nothing can come extremely easy in that regard, I can’t just share some groundbreaking thought and expect it to spread like wildfire like it would under normal circumstances. 

I hold out hope that either this endeavor will take off or I get disability. I am really going to try and give this a shot, if of course I am even allowed to make a living writing from home. I am banking on the hope that I just have to be very persistent, follow the path of a standard writer in a way. I am thinking of sending out 2 article packages a day to newspapers, maybe doing a little more advertising, trying to find creative and standard methods of getting myself out there. Then hopefully little by little I may get a customer or two until I build up a decent paycheck to make a living. 

I don’t know if it will work though, all prior attempts would indicate that it will not… I feel like I am putting gold out there and only getting a little bit of feedback. The thing is I do get some comments from people that they are reading them… so maybe… Persistence may be the key… 

I am in a rather optimal position to pursue this goal though, I almost feel like I started self-employment today in a way and am renting out a nice little upstairs office space. This is living the dream a bit…

Think it is time to step up our Santa Claus game… (Plus, I am getting tired of watching the same movies every year!)

For years I have been sitting on this idea and sculpting it a bit. But I think Santa Claus should retire and set up a democracy. Not saying that Santa Clause has to die or anything and that he can’t be a part of Christmas. Perhaps the North Pole could even be ruled by a constitutional monarchy or something of that nature. But I am a big fan of bringing in many new faces to the Christmas festivities, which has a lot of interesting implications. 

I was personally thinking every two to four years the elves vote on a new Santa Clause, perhaps even all the children around the world could vote, but that may be going a step to far. Among the candidates could be Nobel Prize winners, humanitarians, philanthropists, hard workers, etc… which they could be fictional of course. Plus, they could be from all different races and ethnicities from around the world. But it would be someone stepping up to take on the duties of Santa Claus. 

I have also felt for some time that we need to get are story straight about Santa Clause, I would be for giving over control of the enterprise to group at Disney or something like that, perhaps could have some elected board or commission in charge of Santa Claus. But it would be nice to have a proper origin story and then go from there. Have a group in charge of official Santa Claus business though. Not that other people couldn’t make movies or whatever as well, which brings me to the next point. 

We are kinda beating Santa Claus to death anymore, not much new every year, watching the same movies over and over, or just creating a hundred different versions of Santa. This would open up a whole new level of marketing and merchandising. New movies all the time, I am sure there will even be adult comedies made every year and things like that, which could definitely be funny. New collectibles of all the new Santas. But it would definitely get the idea wheels a churning in my opinion. 

Plus, when you think of it, Santa Clause is one of the first people you ever love when your little. It could be good for children to learn to love someone of a different race or ethnicity. Especially one of the most loved characters of all time. Not to mention it will make the Santa Claus experience much more inclusive to everyone around the world in my opinion. 

Which, while I got you all here, I am also for just a one or two presents from Santa Claus proposal. Not that parents can’t get a child more, but they should be from you. I don’t think it is good that some kids think that Santa loves another child more and things like that. In, fact what I am really for, is one of the presents being like a Santa or Christmas themed trinket. A reasonably priced necklace, pocket watch, earrings, bracelet, pocket token, etc… a keepsake to always remember their Santa Claus experience when they get older. Plus, something in the price range that everyone could afford or people could donate so that all children feel like Santa loves them. Then of course maybe like one other reasonable toy from Santa. Then at school, perhaps the policy could just for kids to share only what Santa Clause himself or herself brought them. 

Also, in favor of having a set year when we tell the children that Santa Claus isn’t real and that it is something we do to help foster children’s imagination. Then explain to them that we are only telling them because they are big kids now and that they have to help keep the secret from all the younger children. Explaining Santa could then become a rite of passage almost for a youngster. This could be important if we are all working together, because we may make Santa Claus almost too believable if you know what I mean! Kids may be believing a bit too long. 

Some things to think about anyways… But I feel like if we are going to do this Santa Claus business, we should do it right! That and I want new Christmas movies to watch!

Hanging in there…

Got some much-needed sleep last night, I only slept a couple hours the night before. Mentally have been going through a bit lately, I seem to be getting better though. Progress normally comes with some side effect or another. But, overall, I have not been thinking very negative, not too many overly racing thoughts that get away from me, and nothing too depressive…. I have just been feeling a bit hazy as I progress, although I feel I can see the light on the other side of the tunnel. 

It didn’t help that my medicine was two weeks late, I get a shot every two weeks, but do too some complications it didn’t get to me for a month…. I have some schizophrenic thoughts about the matter… I didn’t seem to go through any noticeable withdrawal or anything, so that was good. When I started taking the medicine again it definitely tranquilized me quite a bit, which was good and bad, probably better than the bad, but it wasn’t the best timing with all this being the first week of school. 

School has been going pretty good, but I think it is going to be a long semester, I just feel mentally exhausted already, I wish I was just taking one or two classes. Just have to remember to take it one day at a time. My main goal this semester isn’t to make the President’s list, rather to just get every assignment in on time. Over a 3.0 would be nice, we will see what happens. 

Been getting into Everquest 2 the last couple weeks, been having some fun, hopefully I will have some free time to play throughout the semester. I think I will, being done with all my math classes is definitely a bonus. So far, it looks like I should have some more downtime than previous semesters. 

On another note, I won a little scholarship for the next year. It is for overcoming hardships in life to get back to school. I have to go to a dinner at the school to receive it… I might of course enter into imagination land, and pretend I am going to some Nobel prize acceptance dinner haha, would make it all the more exciting hehe. I say that jokingly, but that is probably what I will do mentally when I go there. Could definitely be the case, you never know in my circumstances. 

I will try to write some ideas here and there, I just get so exhausted with school that I don’t feel too much like writing another 500-word essay or whatever. Wanted to give you all a little update though, hanging in there, still waiting to hear about disability. Still looking into back up plans just in case, I found a SUNY online school that has journalism, very exciting, it was hidden in a cultural studies department, but I found it. I think that is where I would like to go. Would certainly be much more cost effective than many schools. 

That is a little bit about what has been going on though… hanging in there is a good way to sum up the last couple weeks… Maybe I will adjust a bit as the semester progresses, I don’t think the whole thing with the medicine helped either, perhaps once that gets back to normal as well, it will be better. Also, playing EQ2 is a whole different level of mindfulness that rewires my brain a little. I can sit there for hours and hours and play… Even in my sleep my mind was trying to get me to play on the computer the other night… So, my brain seems to like it… 

I am for “First Year” Participation trophies…

I am for participation trophies… but I am only for getting a participation trophy your first full year… I also think you should get a patch you can sew on items, perhaps even a certificate as well. 

Whether your first year in a program is when you are 7 or 17 I think you should get a trophy and a patch. But, you only get it if you make it to enough practices throughout the year and make an effort. I consider your first year, your welcome to the club year. 

I would present them with their trophy and patch along with a bit of a speech, I would say that they showed the effort it takes to become a better athlete and team, that it takes commitment to make a team good and work. Welcome to the club! I would follow that up with… now it is time to go win some trophies. 

Even being part of a team for one year made you a part of every championship team the school ever had in a way. How much do we owe people that stick through a season without winning a game to keep a program alive for the future? Being part of teams of long droughts without making it to the playoffs, hanging in there and carrying the torch. Sometimes you are part of a team with a new coach, and you are part of his or her learning curve, you may not have been super successful, but the coach may have learned a lot to make a future championship team. I would of course hope a young child would stick with a sport, but I think they should feel proud to wear the patch throughout their life, even if they only played one full year… they were part of the process… 

Where are teams and champions without all of their practice partners as well?… everyone shares in even an individual’s championship win. 

Short blog today, but I think you get the gist of what I am trying to say. I like the idea of getting a welcome to the club package after you complete a full first year, along with a nice motivational speech… Then you chase the trophies after that! 

P.S. … so in like little league baseball you would still get a high school patch… part of the overall program… 

A philosopher living in a technological world…

Well, it has been a pretty good week, think I definitely needed the break. I have ascertained through my schizophrenic methods that many would prefer I don’t continue my blog… I am a bit of a wild card when I am just writing out to the public like this. I think we have gotten to a pretty good place in the world right now and they would like to control my message a bit. They seem to say this is probably the biggest microphone in the world at the moment. So, I guess they may worry a bit about possible ramifications of billions of people hearing a message all at once, especially information on such an important thing going on right now. I am supposed to trust the system, that my message will be received. We have some unconventional ways of still getting out there what I have to say. 

My main issue is, is that I feel I am a philosopher living in a technological world. My brain is wired in a way that it always tends to turn things into a big picture. I tend to just receive information, take concepts from it and retain information that is important to a broader concept. I have a lot of trouble doing technological things, I forget very fast and have trouble holding on to what I learned, I only take the concepts from it, or what it could be used for. For example, I think if I was to go to college for computer programming, by the time I got to a job I would have already forgotten how to do everything… I can’t retain things like that. The two math classes I had in college this last year, I got over a 100 in each class, but that is all long gone in my brain already. Going to school for a lot of things would be a complete waste of time and money. 

So, I am good at coming up with big ideas and concepts and things like that though… but in this initiation bet, I can’t seem to make money using anything I am good at. At the same time, I can’t retain any of the skills that would provide me a job living in the middle somewhere… I am either on one end of the spectrum or the other… either some major world changing thing, or I have to be a machine operator or something like that, where I don’t have to apply much “skill”. 

Which, those jobs in the more manual labor skill set make me want to kill myself and give me lots of anxiety for various reasons… so I am screwed a bit… 

My happy median was going to be this blog and journalism… but I’m not sure it will work out. I don’t think it is a preferred job for me by interested parties. 

Hopefully the disability works out… many signs seem to say it will and that things are coming together, but given some previous life experience, they may just be trying to get me excited, so it will hurt as much as possible when I get denied.  

So, until I know I have disability for sure, I will still do this blog once a week I am thinking, to keep it going while I wait… I will attempt to share ideas while being as uncontroversial as possible hehe. I think I did a pretty good job of that for the first two months. 

This remains my backup plan… Not many options for me, disability would certainly seem optimal…  

“I’m pretty tired, I think I’ll go home now” – Forrest Gump

A classic quote from what I often consider my favorite movie all time… I use it, because I think I am need of a break after these last couple months. I am mentally exhausted… like today, I knew exactly what I wanted to write about, but did not have the drive to put the pen to paper. I am so mentally exhausted, just the idea of copy and pasting this to put on wordpress and posting to twitter and facebook seems like such a task today, I will suffer through the couple minutes it takes though… 

I am probably especially exhausted because of the uncertainty in my life right now, when I have to wait to find out something like disability it really gets to me, I over think everything and worry about whether I won’t get it, then I make plans in case I don’t get it… then I think, this blog isn’t really taking off and I haven’t heard back from newspapers yet, what will I do if none of these things work out? Maybe I will apply to a couple colleges… I am just full of thinking and doubt right now… it makes keeping up with this blog more difficult… 

Maybe take a week break or something… probably good to take a break with school starting up soon as well… I might post some little personal updates or something, maybe not. Like I said, even just posting to facebook and twitter that I posted my blog post for the day, sounds like such a task at the moment… 

I wrote more in my journal I wanted to cover today, but I think I shall call it a day right here… 

It was a good run though… 2 months posting everyday… I will be back! 

Stay tuned… 

An idea for changing the courts up a bit…

I had an idea for changing the courts a while back, I would be curious to see if it would ever work out. But, what I have noticed about our current law system, is how much is relies on lying. Almost nobody pleads guilty at the onset, everything starts from the angle of pleading not guilty for the most part. You get rewarding for lying right from the get go… 

I might also say I think in the eyes of God, people that defend people they know are guilty and help them get away with the crime, are essentially a co-conspirator of the crime, like the get-away driver in a way. I hate lawyers that look at getting criminals off as good for business… Now, I might be able to see something where you like the person and don’t believe they deserve a full sentence or something and are trying to help them not spend as much time in jail or something, that you truly don’t think the person deserves it…  

I always think of Abraham Lincoln who refused to take any case that he thought the person was guilty… in fact one time while he was defending a person, he realized the guy was guilty and had to leave the room, he wanted to tell the judge he thought the person was guilty now, but people told him he could be disbarred for doing that. That is an example of a great lawyer to me. 

But, I have an idea, where we reward people for pleading guilty… If you plead guilty, I think you should have a sentencing trial where you explain to a jury why you did what you did, how you ended up in your situation… your telling people you are guilty of the crime, but you get a chance to explain why you don’t deserve the full sentence or shouldn’t be punished. I could see some instances where people plead guilty and get away with a crime all together after explaining what happened or their life story. Just being willing to plead guilty is already an example of why you don’t deserve the full sentence. But, the catch is, if you plead not-guilty and get found guilty, you automatically get the full sentence… Lying shows why you deserve the full sentence… This way we would be rewarding people for not lying… 

Lawyers would probably need time to prepare and get character witnesses and people to collaborate stories… but I think it could be a good system potentially.  

Schizophrenic thought… sometimes I think people are trying to tell me we are already trying this places and it is working well… 

I don’t like that a lawyer has to defend someone they think is guilty… the way we do it now a bit, if everyone thinks they are guilty, they should have to plead guilty or defend themselves… perhaps a lawyer could just help them with courtroom etiquette or something like that… Seems weird we make someone help a person get away with a crime they think they are guilty of… That or allow a lawyer to say, I think he is guilty, but I am helping him present his case… I don’t know… 

I am of course open to debate about all of this… just some thoughts…