It’s ok to not be happy with the way you look right now…

I am much more in favor of teaching acceptance rather than delusion when we are not happy with our physical bodies… 

Everyone that struggles with weight should read the book, “The Compass of Pleasure” by David J. Linden. In part of the book he tackles weight from a more psychological point of view. They contend that our minds are all genetically wired to want a certain amount of fat in our bodies. Which there is evidence that shows that when our fat dips below our brains desired amount, our brain will actually make our metabolisms slow down and make us start to crave more food. This is why many people may feel really hungry one month, but the next month not feel that hungry at all and may find it easy to lose a few pounds. There studies show that while many peoples weight fluctuates throughout the year, year after year it tends to average out. There are obviously exceptions to all rules as some eating might be the result of stress and things like that. I was personally 50 pounds over my brains desired amount, but it sure let me know. I never felt that good and I started to get all sorts of physical sensations when I ate certain foods, and my brain kept making me think I had diabetes… when I lost the 50 pounds I started to feel much better mentally and physically… my brain still lets me know when I eat foods it doesn’t like… Linden would argue that a 600-pound person doesn’t have the fat restrictor plate in our brains that the vast majority of us have. 

I say this to start with the idea that battles with weight are often losing battles… that it is genetics… that many people, literally no matter how hard they try, will always be around a certain weight, their brain will do everything in its power to see to it, even if that means slowing down their metabolism so it is easier to put on fat. 

Now to my acceptance part… I actually don’t like the growing trend of trying to delusion ourselves to see ourselves as the most beautiful person in the world physically… Most everyone has a natural idea in their head of what is physically most pleasing… it is mental torture in a way to try and delusion ourselves day after day to change what we see as physically attractive… it is just a belief that is very much at the core of us… It is mental torture to fight your brain like that, it is a losing battle… 

You need to look at your body here as just a biological shell while you are on this planet… I joke that if I was heavy, I would call myself “Trans Fit”, a physically fit person living in a heavy-set body… that when I get to heaven, I will have the body I always wanted and one that I can change when I see fit to my own liking… In heaven we can probably change our bodies like we change our hair if you get my drift… 

You should look at your body here as more your cross to bear for this small amount of time… I once heard a person describe this as living this life on hard mode… we all know that physically attractive people have had advantages for sure, no denying it. 

You should try to become very confident on a soulful level… and accept this biological shell you are beholden to for a while. 

Speaking as a man that has certain qualities that he finds physically attractive… pretty standard ones as deemed by society… If I were to date someone that doesn’t meet those qualities, let’s say a heavier set woman… I would much rather that they saw themselves as a fit person living in a heavy body. I don’t think I could spend my life with someone that keeps trying to make me delusion myself to see them as the most physically attractive person I have ever seen. I would like to see them as the most beautiful soul I have ever met… but it sounds like torture to me, to try and delusion myself day after day, trying to convince myself that you are extremely physically attractive. Especially if you can’t be happy if I don’t see you as the most physically attractive person ever… 

Some people that really start to fall in Love may come to actually like that you are stuck in a heavy body while you are here… often times when people fall madly in love with someone, they start to wish that their partner wasn’t physically attractive to anyone else anymore. One of our goals becomes getting through this life without cheating on each other until we get to heaven and our love is protected by God. 

It is just this short little period of time when we are all obsessed with being seen as the most beautiful person in the world by someone… Nobody is in their 80’s saying, this is the body I want for eternity… You know what I mean… It is a short period of time here and a blip on our eternal timeline… 

I just don’t think this growing movement of trying to make everyone delusion themselves is a good thing… I am much for preaching acceptance and just looking at our bodies as a temporary biological shell we have for a while… to accept and be fine with not being your ideal self right now or the worlds ideal look… what we find physically attractive is so built into us, it is a part of who we are… I think it is torture to try and delusion ourselves day after day… 

It is much healthier to learn acceptance than delusion ourselves… 

The world also needs to realize that weight is out of the control of most people… I think a large part of our non-acceptance stems from love that comes out in some bad ways sometimes. We all know that heavier people on average don’t tend to live as long. I think deep down we want to see everyone live forever… it is a little like watching a drug user to some extent, it can be a harsh reality for a lot of people to accept… 

Acceptance people… 

Book Club (Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely): Chapter 6…

(Thoughts in order as I was reading along with the chapter) 

 

The first study was interesting… considering their results, it raises a lot of concerns when alcohol is mixed into the equation and our inhibitions are lowered. 

  • Makes me stand more firmly behind the idea that alcohol and opposite sex parties don’t mix well and why I am for chaperoned parties even throughout the college years. 
  • Also speaks to the importance of teaching young people to be social drinkers 
  • I don’t want to draw too much from one simple study though of course 
  • It is scary what sex drive does to some people… 
  • It is nuts to think about how much affect it has on society in general… A primary driver of evolution… although somewhere along the way I think Love became a primary driver as well… I don’t think sex drive has completely left the building yet 
  • Has such a spell over the young adult world 
  • I wonder how much can be enculturated out of us though… 

I think some of his conclusions might be a little wildly over exaggerated for most people… small study with lots of variables still… How much might the students even be giving the experimenters what they want? Could still be a little bit of a placebo affect because they might be expecting a change (you know what I mean, not to discredit the study by any means)… I don’t know as though we all have a monster lurking within us… Some of what he described in his examples is the survivalist that lives within us as well… All kinds of different arousals and stressors… 

  • An interesting study none the less… I do think the core principles tend to ring true. Like I was saying previously, sex drive really holds a spell over us, especially during certain years of our lives… Maybe knowing it is something that comes and goes is part of overcoming it. That it is a stage along our biological clock…That there is a light at the end of the tunnel for the vast majority of us (Hopefully everyone, although there always seems exceptions to every rule), that we won’t be driven by such carnal desires for an extremely long time, that it isn’t something that needs to be repressed for life… that we don’t need to give into it, rather outlast it… to manage it through various means including self-gratification. 

Learning to manage new emotions, feelings and stress is very difficult… makes for stressful times. 

  • I think it is a large part of why people are happier when they are older, despite no longer living in their prime… They are on the other side of tackling all of those mental hurdles… their mind has figured out how to deal with them in a much better way… their mind figured out some good and proper mental paths to deal with issues that arise… 
  • I think I blogged about it previously, but I am not so sure a mental breakdown in your earlier years is really that avoidable. We become overwhelmed by new stressors, emotions and feelings our mind has no clue how to deal with yet. Could be comforting to know that it happens to pretty much everybody and that your best mental years should still be ahead of you. Just have to get through and survive while your brain figures it out… mindfulness and meditation helps… breathing techniques 
  • Breakdown rates probably heightened by this fast-paced digital age as well. Our technology and society probably evolved faster than we did. We may be living ahead of our time a bit. 

Wow, I never really looked into modern cars through this mindset… makes me wonder about the future of tickets and traffic infractions… GPS and onboard computers could easily recognize drivers and track their driving. 

  • Current society would be far from accepting this, perhaps somewhere in the future. 
  • Current society still very much likes laws that allow them to still get away with things, even at the cost to societies overall well-being… They prefer the cat and mouse game; many would prefer to even get rid of the cats on the road. 
  • There could be some other potential ethical issues with this… Honestly, probably the biggest part is people want to break rules and not be caught. 

Nice closing arguments that lend to the notion that this area of Human behavior may need a lot more research! 

Can’t stop thinking about how eye opening his thoughts on modern cars were… I have a feeling this will spark a lot of debate for years to come! 

South Park: Absurdist Humor or Reflection of American Culture?

Pulled this question off of a website while searching for things to write about…

(I will just write out the response the same way that I wrote it in my notebook) 

 

  • Interesting… I would say both, some episodes meant to be absurdist humor, others meant to actually deliver meaningful opinions and messages. 
  • I feel it is no longer something someone in my position can watch anymore. Not unless they change some things… Some episodes I could certainly re-watch, that stand up even within our emerging PC Culture, “Losing Edge” is a great example. 
  • I think they took a big swing and miss trying to take on the PC Culture. 
  • PC is happening and I don’t think it is going away. 
  • We want everybody to laugh at Jokes, not be the butt of the Jokes. 
  • In my opinion, comedy is going to change forever… It will adapt to PC Culture and it will still be funny… Comedy is an Art and there are a lot of smart comedians. 
  • A lot of blow back is probably from people that can’t envision themselves adapting well to the change and think they are losing their jobs… Some probably will… 
  • The professional bully style comedian is dying… A matter of time in my opinion… Especially in the Mainstream. 
  • I look back and am ashamed at some of the stuff I laughed at years go… I should be ashamed… I was a bit young and lacking empathy and accountability. An example would be laughing at the song “Special Olympics”, we then become enablers and part of the problem… Society gets more of what it rewards… when we make a bad comedian famous and rich, more people will copy their style and humor… 
  • The South Park guys are really smart in all actuality and I know they can be funny within the PC Culture… they are adaptable for sure and will still have us crying laughing. 
  • I think they have been on the wrong side of the PC Battle Though… I was actually a little surprised at how hard they went all in… They normally have a much better read on our culture and a general sense of morals and empathy. 
  • I think they truly just want to make everyone laugh, not just a minority of people… Which is a large part of what the PC Culture movement is about in comedy. 
  • Even when you pick on people, it should be in a way that we are laughing with you, not at you… 
  • I actually think South Park was good for a lot of people. 
  • One might be surprised at how much they were actually teaching the Youth of America… Giving valuable opinions and messages in a humorous way… They think rather logically in my opinion… 
  • I will be happy when they finally succumb to the PC movement… It was one of my favorite cartoons… Granted they certainly went too far sometimes… I didn’t like when they made Cartman a complete psychopath for instance. 
  • I have hope they will come to their senses… They have been wasting their Talents! 
  • One might worry that they may take a while due to the psychological concept, “Justification of Effort”, that they have went so all in on the Anti PC culture that they will have a tough time switching stances now… 
  • There is a middle ground somewhere… South Park was a pursuit of the World lightening up a bit and not taking everything so seriously, not being wound up so tight and aggressive… trying to get people to learn to laugh at themselves a bit… there wasn’t too many subcultures within society that didn’t get some light jabs thrown at it…  
  • I personally still think the PC Culture is a good thing in general though… I have no doubt that comedians with adapt… the best ones are extremely smart and actually very empathetic, can do a rather good job at analyzing cultures and the people within them. 
  • To be a successful big-time comedian is very hard! Many would actually be great sociologists and perform very well in the Humanities & Social Sciences… I could see some of them getting their doctorates for sure! 

 

I am not really sure if I answered the original question or not, but I rather like the way the conversation went anyways! 

A Poem… Free Verse Generation

Free Verse Generation

Does a Poem need to Rhyme?

For my heart to be so tamed would be such a crime

Limiting my artistic expression

There must exist some form of exception

Free Verse allows me to Unleash my Soul

To extend my words out of the Realm of Control

To my ears a Rhyme sounds a bit silly

But make no mistake, it certainly isn’t easy

A generation raised on Dr. Suess and Where the Sidewalk Ends

To untie rhyming with childhood humor is not so easy to get out of our heads

Perhaps I should try and Rhyme from time to time

To pay homage to the original poetic Paradigm

A rhyme feels like it should go on Forever

But alas I have found the right words to conclude our endeavor

If only I could see only smiling faces…

I was planning on writing something else, but have found myself drawn back to this topic… 

I know I have talked about how I have trouble with faces before… so perhaps this is just an update… It really has proven to be a constant source of stress that is hard to overcome… 

You see, although I haven’t had one website view in the past 4 or 5 days, in my head, I think billions of people read my posts… including everyone I might come across in a day… 

So, it is frustrating when I see negative faces or people that look mad at me, I take it very personally… I like to look at people’s faces to help gauge the reaction to things I say, especially since people don’t comment on my posts… I desire feedback… 

Which, it is very hard to come to terms with not seeing smiling faces all the time… But I have to accept that I probably won’t ever see 100% smiling faces all the time while I am in this initiation/bet… technically, given the information given to me, no one should really even know who I am, or that they certainly don’t take the time to read my posts… It should be in a way, like nobody knows who I am… 

So, given the parameters of this initiation/bet and what information is given to me… I will always see many neutral faces or people with (resting bitch face)… sometimes people will just look downright upset… It is hard for me… 

It is especially hard because I have a tough time not trying to figure out why people are mad at me… I used to do that all the time, I would replay everything I said in my head to try and see what could have made people mad or why people may have taken something the wrong way… I would then always address all of the possible problems I could find… I even started to feel that they would try to use a specific type of person to look at me a certain way… so if I was seeing a lot of mad old people, I would ask myself, what did I say or do that is making old people so mad?…which then you could take that question and just insert any given type of person… 

It was probably a good thing in some ways, because I was probably addressing real concerns some people had… maybe that is what was really happening for a while as I was trying to win everybody over to my side… gradually winning over all of the different groups and age groups… I was constantly trying to address any concerns people might have… it probably helped me evolve in some ways and really smooth out my message and fine tune it… 

This whole process is even more elevated when you include the news and documentaries and things like that… trying to take on and win over ever group, no matter where their viewpoints were… I might hear some horrible viewpoint and my opinion would be, that viewpoint exists and everything in between, so I would address it… I always addressed the worst-case scenario, even if just in case… I would have rather had some instance of delusion than not address some really negative or evil viewpoint or thought about something… which I am sure that my enemy used my internal process against me, making up very negative viewpoints and opinions by groups that they never actually said… 

But now I have gotten to a point where I tend to believe it is just Good vs. Evil left and not much if anything in between… there are people on the other side of this initiation/bet and then there is everybody on my side of the initiation/bet… I don’t even think proportionally the other side has that many people, it is just that a small proportion can still contain millions of people that could potentially reek a lot of havoc. 

My opinion is that there really isn’t that much more I can do on the grounds of having people switch to my side… I have a feeling we do scrape away at their side little by little… but that responsibility can now be delegated to many of the people on my side… as well as the reasoning with anybody left in the middle… 

I don’t believe basically anything I see or hear in the news anymore except for natural disasters… I think we are experiencing the greatest world peace the world has ever known and that we are all working together more than ever to achieve common goals… 

I don’t believe any of the negative faces anymore either… It is just that old habits die hard and I so desire just to see smiling faces all the time and to just be surrounded by people that are happy with all that I have done…  

The faces just have a special power over me for sure… probably to because I have always valued the opinions of my hometown my entire life, they have always had a special place in my heart… A large driving factor of my life was always trying to make my hometown (The Valley) proud… I always desired to be seen in a positive light by these people… 

I have to learn to let it go though… accept there is no way I am going to see 100% smiling faces while I am in this initiation/bet…  

I have to trust that I have already won in many ways… no more battles left for me to fight… 

I personally feel so good about to the point I have gotten too, that if I went a bit nuts now, it’s not like people would hold it against me, that it isn’t who I am… people have seen and know the true me anymore, anything else would be a sign that I just need some help or something… which is a good feeling, takes a lot of pressure off, don’t have to worry about everything I say and feel like I am walking on egg shells… don’t have to replay everything the way I used to… I feel the unconditional Love now… I might also say that I feel that I earned it…  

If that all makes sense… 

Book Club (Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely): Chapter 5…

Comments as they appeared in my mind while reading the Chapter… Shorter Chapter this week! 

 

I think my discussion on weddings will be a separate blog post… The wedding dress example very much crosses over into a multitude of regions; weddings, high fashion, labels, status items, materialism, status in general, etc… 

  • Sorry if I seem like I am knocking people, to each their own… In some families the wedding dress run has even become a tradition or rite of passage. 
  • I worry a little bit with what is going on mentally and culturally with the wedding dress run… Not that it is the greatest cause for concern by any means… Sorry, my honest opinion. 
  • To me it almost comes off as a bit dystopian or degrading in some ways… The optics aren’t the greatest… Again, I am sorry… 
  • I think this speaks to something that was drilled into female culture that many people are trying to drive out… (I also don’t like how woman are expected to wear something different every day of the year!) 

Interesting, Fun, and Humorous section on the Sushi. It is funny to think about how often that happens in our own lives… Many, Many, times… 

  • Fun section in general to think about and all of its intricacies when communal and price meet.  
  • For me, in the grocery store, how many are left often lends to how many of a deal I will take. I feel a little less selfish and more economically savvy when there are plenty of a deal left… That could be another interesting study, change how many starbursts are on the table. 
  • They are paying for the sushi, so this does run a little counter to his hypothesis from the candy experiment… that communal and market can overlap… Of course, it probably varies by person as well  

Interesting experiments and eye opening to see the price of zero’s relationship with social norms. 

  • I’m not so sure this would work for something like oil or gasoline though… you know what I mean! 

The effort section left me wanting a lot more research and opinions… I am not sure how much I concur with his final assessment; I find a lot of different variables that could play a role in the experiment. 

  • I think this is more just getting the conversation started rather than concluding it. Interesting stuff though! Very thought provoking! (A common term I use to describe this Author and his Book)  

Interesting thoughts at the end… The real change in my opinion could come on the consumer end. Social norms are much more being applied to an informed consumer. Which the consumer tends to hold the most power in a market driven society. A power not fully understood and harnessed yet. 

  • You know me, I like the idea of a consumer union that looks out for consumers and helps shape the world in a positive way. 
  • A power not to be used lightly though, it can be a delicate balance between consumer and producer. Best to apply reasoning and civility! 

 

A little shorter chapter this week… interesting stuff though. Thought provoking as usual! 

Some thoughts on the Grand Illusion (?) of Time…

I tend to believe that we are still in the base state of existence or that we are subject to it. The base state of existence, is a state of existence that must exist in order for us to exist. It is a place with no past or future, no beginning or end, just in a state of existence… that, only the present moment actually exists… You can read my article “A Case for God” for more information…

I think what we perceive as time is just a Grand Illusion in a way… I think we have invented a type of time, but not in the sense that there is an actual past or future… that we all just have essentially synched up our memories in a way. What makes it such a grand illusion is how logical and well it performs… based off things like the rotation of the Earth and how fast we travel around the sun… We can measure the rate of energy and the rate of decay… It is very logical to have “time”, even in a place that doesn’t actually experience what we have come to feel is time (a time that has an actual past and future… that we are constantly traveling through time or that time is traveling through us.)

We can then meet our friends at specific points in “time”… we can have schedules and all the great things that time gives us… It is essentially essential to life here in all reality… where would be without the invention of time?

I do wonder if we actually do invent real time sometimes… I think we do this when we make video games and mmorpg’s and things like that. I think that is actually more what real time is like in a way… It is something that can be continued or ended in the case of an mmorpg, or something on a predetermined line like a classic video game. That is more how I see the reality of time being though, something created… that there is no true eternal time…

That is the only place I think that time travel can exist… I think that time travel can only exist in a predetermined place where we are given an illusion of time travel… we can create a time travel video game that makes us think we are traveling through time, but we wouldn’t actually be traveling through time… we can’t time travel through an mmorpg however, although there can be predetermined elements of an mmorpg that can (Like an instance or separate predetermined game in a way)… I think an illusioned time travel can only exist on a pre-determined plane.

(Added 6/16/19: Actually you may be able to time travel on an mmorpg timeline, at least be able to travel back in time anyways and then reshape the future… Because if everyone went back to a previously saved point or something of that nature, you would then be going back in time and create a new future. I think you can only travel into a future existence in a pre-determined world though, because the future would have already had to have been created in order to travel to it… I’m sure your thoughts can run wild thinking about this stuff, even ways we could slow down or speed up our relativity and things like that on a timeline… I always envisioned that in “the zone” you could alter time, so in heaven you might have only went into “the zone” for a minute, but in “The zone”, you may have been in there for what feels like 20 years… if that makes sense. Which I think is a great feature for maintaining relationships in heaven, because if done in the right way, you can manipulate time to see a person whenever you want… That person may have went on a 100 year adventure, but you wanted to see them today, you could manipulate things to make that happen in my opinion… all sorts of interesting possibilities with “The Zone”.)

Is this making sense?

I think heaven will be somewhat similar… we will have the created and perceived time that allows us to still schedule things and meet each other at points in time, points in the present tense… but then we will have a much a better version of real time (video games and mmorpgs) where we can live out all of our fantasies and enjoy life to the fullest. (You may call it a VR or Dream World in a way… I like to call it “The Zone”)

Heaven, I believe, of course won’t be subject to many of the nightmare elements of this universe, including decay and the necessity to eat and drink to survive… But I do see this place as having elements of Heaven if you know what I mean!

Perhaps I need to name this perceived Time we have created… Or is it the real time that needs a name? I just don’t personally think we are subject to an actual past and future as many people have come to believe here, I think we are still subject to the “base state of existence”.