Back from Hiatus…

Making a little bit of a comeback after taking a bit of a break… Which I think I have made some mental health strides and gotten some things in order… Hopefully have the next 5 or 6 years lined up for the time being… 

Recently got accepted back to college starting next fall… will be taking Human Development (Psychology)… which then I am hoping to keep the good grades rolling and get into graduate school. I will be taking online classes and have even found out there are a lot of online graduate options for mental health counseling… you take classes online but they set up your  practicum and other mandatory hours at a location near where you live… pretty sweet… hopefully things work out… have the path lined up, now I just need to walk down it… will be nice keeping the homestead as my home base, I would have felt horrible leaving the animals as well! 

Basically have just been trying to relax and maintain a more constant general happiness… been going well… little set back with an illness I picked up, caused me to miss a lot of sleep which I think has made me a little edgy lately… other than that, going well… I am usually pretty happy… 

Recently bought a Nintendo switch to help keep me busy until next fall… pretty dang sweet, they really created something special in my opinion… neat to see the evolution over the years leading to this console… pretty happy with the games I have chosen so far… also liking a lot of the different options and how there are new deals every week and new games being made all the time ranging from more hallmark style games to more app style games that can be purchased pretty cheap… I will prolly talk about games from time to time as I am usually inspired by things under my current attention… 

Want to start watching and reviewing movies again as well… currently have amazon and Netflix subscriptions I would like to make good use of… looking forward to the new Netflix Christmas Movie coming out! I personally like to review the movies as well, gives me more incentive to watch movies and makes me feel a little bit more engaged with the world… just not as fun when you have to keep thoughts to yourself all the time, especially when you are a social person… could argue it helps give me a sense of purpose as well… 

I plan to blog, but it probably won’t be under a set schedule this time… just write when I feel like it or I have something to say… 

Will probably start tweeting a bit more as well about random thoughts… 

Just in the mood to be more engaged again for at least a while… 

Hope everyone is doing well, and I look forward to sharing thoughts with you once again! 

Here we go… 

Time for a little break…

Think I might take a week or two off from posting… I will however probably finish the book club this week, it’s the last chapter and then will take a break from that as well. It may actually prove difficult to find another book I can write along with so easily without compromising any of its contents and break any sort of fair use clause… I am actually a bit amazed with how well the book club went, right book at the right time I suppose, almost like it was meant to happen 

Just a culmination of things right now… going through a little bout of depression/stress at the moment as well… I made many steps forward before this little step back though, so that is good… this too shall pass, hopefully pretty quick I was a bit surprised by some of my old thoughts that re-surfaced this time around, not completely out of the woods yet I guess…  

Just not too much drive to come up with or elaborate on ideas write now… who knows, maybe I’ll make a full recovery by the end of the week! 

Still think I am on the right track though… I have pushing myself pretty hard to mold my brain into a better line of thinking, think I am doing the right things for the long run, just some old habits seem to be dying hard…  

I think what it comes down to… is that my brain and I are still learning how to truly accept my situation and be happy within certain confines… Which can certainly be done… I can be very happy in my situation… I feel like the luckiest person in the World on many days if I am being honest… I just have a hard time not getting really excited about some ideas sometimes, which don’t end up working out… It feels like it is kind of out of my control sometimes, my brain just automatically imagines all of the possibilities… Then it is just depressing and stressful when those possibilities are out of the question… Which can then open up an entire bag of old negative mental paths, thoughts, and emotions… Not pleasant… 

Getting there! I’ll be back! 

Book Club (Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely): Chapter 14…

Thoughts in order while reading the chapter…

 

I would be curious to see this study done on regular poker players who regularly use chips in place of cash to play

  • They may more easily correlate a token with cash and not cheat as much
  • Or does it mean that people are more likely to cheat when using chips and not cash?
  • I would think playing regularly might strengthen the token to cash relationship
  • I guess a poker player already having a token relationship may have not been optimal for this study… as they are trying to pick something removed from cash
  • Interesting… has interesting implications for casinos and people that cheat…
  • Hmmm…

Pretty wild how much can be justified just by being slightly removed from the cash itself… especially if there are other variables that can help us justify our actions…

  • Like he was saying, the compounded variables and being removed from the money could have profound implications in the online business world… People can come to feel like guiltless criminals… Heightened by an economic situation/culture largely driven by desperation can make it easy to justify…

Can’t help but think of how much of a catalyst desperation is in regard to how much of an influence this dishonesty has over us

  • Desperation is often so overlooked… even the author was much more inclined to quickly point the finger to greed, which can also play a big part of course…

Some powerful thoughts on these subjects and some interesting closing comments as well

  • What are the implications in a cashless society?
  • Perhaps when cash is gone, we won’t be one stepped removed from virtual currency anymore? Perhaps societies conscious will view the tokens like we view cash now potentially? That may be wishful thinking…
  • I still have some hope for the future though!

Would God choose a more Humanesque life?

Just been doing some thinking about God & Heaven recently… I started wondering if God in Heaven would choose to live a more humanesque life… 

I contend that this universe was designed for a specific plan and purpose… that while I don’t think it is actually predetermined in a literal sense, I believe that it was just planned so well, that it is essentially predetermined… that is how smart God is, planning things even like mosquito bites… understands us so well that he could plan and see things billions of years into the future, if not more… 

I just don’t think in heaven that God would always want to see endlessly into an eternal future… I don’t think he would always want to know how someone is going to respond to him… I think that would actually be pretty horrible in my opinion… seems like something that would drive someone completely nuts… I personally think he will dumb himself down a bit to live a more human life… at least the vast majority of time… 

I guess I would argue that being too smart would make for a horrible existence in the long run, especially if you want to be social… that there are many advantages in dumbing down to an optimal level in order to achieve happiness… 

Obviously, it is nice to be smart enough to set everything up and then be able to go to the optimal intelligence to enjoy everything… 

Just some random thoughts anyways… Makes sense though rightInteresting movie premise as well… 

If I was in the Think Tank at Instacart…

Sometime ago, while looking at part time jobs, I stumbled across a company called Instacart. It is a grocery delivery service, seemed like something I might be able to do, or do without being to miserable… which I think it would be better if they let employees become their own bosses a bit more… 

As it stands, you sign up for your hours and they give you orders to fill as they come in, which this is good and should still be an option… but I also like the idea of an option to build clientele and have your own regulars or set up your own schedule for that matter… this would be better for the company and the employee… and a lot of clients as well… 

Then the employees would be much more inclined to market the company and themselves to try and get regular customers… This could greatly expand the company and allow employees to become their own bosses in many ways. I also have to imagine that many clients would also like to have a regular person that buys and delivers their groceries, even better someone they know or a family friend… Eventually they might want them to just drop them off in the fridge if they trusted them enough… 

I just personally think this would improve the company in many ways… could cut down on a lot of employee dissatisfaction as well… I think this also makes the system a bit fairer as well…  

It’s always good in my opinion to allow people to be their own bosses as much as possible within the limits of the job… this seems like a good company that could really benefit from it… 

Just an idea anyways… 

Book Club (Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely): Chapter 13…

Thoughts in order while reading the chapter… 

People’s monitors are probably still on when they take an office pen… they are taking them on an on needed basis for work related purposes, they are able to justify it… to take a full box wouldn’t be as needed… 

  • Could be what a lot of people are thinking anyways… not that I don’t get the point he is making. 
  • Not that there aren’t people taking pens for unrelated work reasons as well… 

It’s kind of funny to think about a student deciding to go all in on cheating and give himself a 100… then just completely defend it… Just saying, “Aced it”… 

  • Funny in a spoof kind of way 
  • Not funny in a sociopath kind of way… 
  • To say that a spoof of this study could be humorous… 
  • I am happy that honesty is important to the majority of people! Especially when it becomes a part of them… 

Sad to hear about the state of affairs in professionalism. Definitely speaks to a larger cultural problem… a nation gone to hell, or at least on its way… 

  • In regard to lawyers… my personal opinion on defense lawyers, if you know your client is guilty and you are helping them get away with it, in the eyes of God you are an accessory to the crime, a getaway driver… 
  • Many lawyers tend to think the worse the crime they can get a person off for, especially if they are obviously guilty, the better for business… very sad and disheartening… 

A good portion of the problem in my opinion is desperation, greed, and taking God out of the World… Also, just a lot of bad advice in general… we have certainly lost a sense of community as well… a cultural collapse indeed… 

  • I could go on… sure there are probably an infinite amount of reasons we have started our decent into chaos… broken families, abuse, bad role models, etc… 
  • In my head, I think the world is doing much better now and working together more than any other point in history… starting to feel like one team working towards common goals… A big family I should say, A “Giant Eternal Family”…  (would make a nice blog post title!) 

Not much from me this week… was more just reading along and taking it all in… 

My Miracle on the Golf Course… or was it spidey-sense?

I think I experienced a miracle while playing golf one day… I joke sometimes that it was my spider-sense… 

Anyways, at a local golf course near me, there is a pretty short par 4. Usually, if people are standing on the green and a golfer wants to go for it, they will wait until the golfers finish up. But of course, some people are too impatient and decide to tee off and go for it anyways while people are still on the green… they decide it is worth is to take the risk and put their fellow golfers in harm’s way… idiots… understanding my situation now, perhaps someone was paid to take a shot at the green to make me mad or something, considering I was probably right in the heart of the initiation… 

Well, my friend and I are on the green putting, standing right near the flag… all of a sudden, just something internally pulls my head to the left… I don’t know how to describe it, before I even felt I needed to duck/pull to the left my body was already pulling me that way, I decided to just go with it and didn’t fight this internal intuitive movement… I ducked left with no warning… didn’t hear the guy tee off, didn’t hear him yell fore or anything… I just ducked left… which as I did, a ball goes flying by right where my head just was, would have been a direct hit to the back of my head… a full out drive to the back of the head would not have been good… could have maybe even killed me… 

I turn around to look at the guy and he is like already getting out his phone or something… I almost felt like he was calling someone else to tell them what he just witnessed or something… this was a very confusing time for me back then, when I first really started to think I was in the middle of some big conspiracy and was trying to figure everything out… it was very crazy time for sure… I did not know what to make of the events that just unfolded… I am not even sure my friend realized exactly what happened to me, just that a ball had almost hit us… I’m not sure he realized I just experienced some miracle/spidey-sense in order to dodge a direct hit to the back of the head… 

We just kinda played on without getting into any discussion or anything… it almost wasn’t even out of the ordinary for me in a way… I have always been naturally deeply religious, so when something religousy happened to me, it always just came off as something more normal or understandable, not something that I really needed to discuss with anybody else… it also seemed like a rather small occurrence compared to everything else happening to me at the time… plus, who would even listen, and judging by what I was going through, who would even act like they cared, or it was a big deal? 

My story might have ended that day…  

It is definitely crazy, I will swear on anything that that is the truth though… Sometimes I wonder if the guy yelled fore and I didn’t hear him, but part of my mind heard him and decided to move, but that wasn’t my normal reaction when I heard someone yell fore, also my friend didn’t move like he heard someone yell… I wondered if perhaps my brain heard the ball cutting through the air or something and knew I had to move… something… whatever it was, it wasn’t something I was consciously aware of, it wasn’t a conscious decision… my brain or something just pulled my head to the left and made me get out of the way just in time… crazy… 

That is my miracle on the golf course story though… still not sure exactly what happened, but I know it was out of my control for the most part…