The universe was designed to fulfill a plan. So everything is as it should be here in the bigger picture of things. But I have been meditating about how we only get a taste of Heaven here. How we have to watch what we eat and things along those lines. I wonder if that wasn’t in part to keep our minds more fixated on the potential for something better. To help keep us fixated on Heaven and help us maintain a spiritual sense of things.

It probably also makes death so much easier here. If everything was too good or perfect we would be so much more attached to this world and not want to leave. Probably an important part of getting older in general, is that we start longing for our youth again and things along those lines. Makes us ready to take the leap.

This is more of a journal prompt than anything. Something to ponder. At first I wasn’t even going to write about it. Then I thought, it’s still something interesting to think about. Even if it was only for a little while.

I watched a short video about a person talking about how there are trillions of galaxies in the Universe and how that relates to the potential for life on other planets. They seemed to say that life on other planets is almost all but assured. So I started to ponder about that and what might make Humans unique in general.

Some of my first lines of thinking were thinking about a deck of cards and the odds of randomly shuffling them into the same order again. The number is pretty astronomical, you should look it up. And that is just a deck of cards, nowhere near as close to the complexities that make life on Earth possible. So, I mean there is still a chance we may be the only planet with life on it.

But what if there is life on other planets? Which then I get to thinking about the complexities of Human consciousness and how that relates to my religious beliefs. Where I really started to hone in on is our Human capacity to be evil. I’m not really convinced that animals are capable of being evil. I believe they have souls, but I’m not sure I believe that their souls are up for the taking.

I believe what makes Humans particularly unique in our existence is our capacity to be evil. This is what I believe makes us bait for the Devil. His potential to control us or to take our souls. Which makes Earth a very important place in the Universe. There is certainly still a high percentage chance that we may be the only beings in the Universe capable of being evil when you think about the probabilities.

Some things to think about anyways…

The other day I was watching a news program about medical psychedelics, and a cancer patient was talking about her experience. She was/is part of an experiment on psychedelics and their effects on I believe it was anxiety. She had a lot of anxiety about death. She then went on to say that during her psychedelic experience she was told that “there is no purpose, this is it” or something along those lines. She also mentioned something said about being alive and that this is it. This brought her great peace and she said she has no fear of death anymore.

At first I was taken back a bit, no purpose? This is it? How could this make your anxiety go away? After thinking about it for a little while, I thought, this is actually very true in Heaven. I thought, there really is no “real” purpose in Heaven. To say that we don’t have an eternal mission anyways. In my belief system, God is Eternal, has always existed and will always exist. He created us to have people to spend eternity with, to experience life with. He created us to be his road dog’s in his walk in Eternity.

I say we have no purpose, because I don’t believe that God expects anything from us. That people shouldn’t feel pressured to be good companions. We just need to exist and enjoy life. God isn’t expecting us to “perform” or be a “jester”. He just wants you to exist alongside him and experience eternity with him. The rest will all happen naturally.

Not that we won’t create certain lifestyles or find different ways to feel purpose in our lives in Heaven. And our lives are certainly very purposeful here on Earth and for God’s plans here on Earth. There is lots of purpose to be found on Earth, that’s for sure. But, at the very core of our eternal existence, there is no pressure, there is no failing, there are no expectations to live up to. God just wants you to simply exist with him for all eternity. Which is really beautiful in my opinion.

Fear has radically shaped my life over the years. It has really been one of the central driving forces throughout my life when I look at it. It has shaped my actions and my thoughts. And it has played a crucial story in my God given plan and purpose.

Fear of Death has really helped to keep me in a spiritual place. So much of what I discern about God, death, Heaven, etc is somewhat rooted in fear. A lot of what I share are things that I thought about and came to the conclusion about because I was trying to comfort myself and overcome my own fears about death. I am constantly trying to comfort myself. 

I have found that no matter how many facts I end up with, the fear always remains. I have moments where I am completely at peace and know and believe the truth, but that fear always comes creeping back. But, it has probably been the most crucial thing in keeping me alive.

Fear has been a little bit of a super power in the story of my life. I feel one of the main purposes of my life was just to stay alive. And fear of death does a great job of doing that. It reached a point to me, that I feel completely incapable of ever committing suicide. I finally realized I was stuck in this Universe. Which was an important realization that greatly improved my life. I finally thought, If I am not going to ever kill myself, then I really need to change the way I am thinking and living my life. No sense in thinking about or trying to convince yourself to do something that you are incapable of doing. At that point in time, you are just torturing yourself.

Fear of Death and Hypochondria are also the exact opposite of suicidal thinking. So they became an anchor in my mind’s thinking. So much of my thinking about death and hypochondria are just to keep my mind focused on the exact opposite of suicide and a way of avoiding negative thinking.

That fear has been hardwired into my brain. I don’t think it is possible to get rid of it while I am in this dimension. It’s a bit of a catch 22. I so wish I could 100% believe I am going to Heaven, that there wasn’t a doubt in my mind. It is so frustrating to me to not be able to believe 100% what I 100% know. In my mind, it’s almost like if I could 100% believe that that would make Heaven exist. I almost feel by not 100% believing that I am making Heaven not exist. If that makes sense. 

It is frustrating to be scared of death, and a little scary. I am obsessed with Life, I absolutely love living, the idea of it all ending is terrifying to me. I would love to get rid of that fear. But, if that fear wasn’t there, I most likely would have left this universe a long time ago. And if I could get rid of it now, there is a good chance I would start down a road of negative thinking again. So, it is a blessing and a curse for sure. I would have to say that it is the best thing for me right now, you almost couldn’t prescribe a better medicine for me while I am in this situation. 

And like I was saying before, focusing on this stuff has helped me to learn so much about God & Heaven. That knowledge is some of the best stuff on Earth, it makes me feel so good at times. A medicine in it of itself. I think about it multiple times everyday. Important information in general, world changing really. Definitely meant to happen. I was definitely meant to have this fear of death. Bit of a yin and yang for me, I am in this place where I am constantly trying to get rid of the fear while the fear is playing a crucial role in a multitude of ways. It’s just where I am at mentally. 

One of the best parts about it is that it has created this like question loop in my mind that I can never solve. Which actually helps me a lot with boredom. I have come to conclusions about most of the answers that are most important to me in life. And when I find other questions to answer, I feel that I find my answer rather quickly. No questions really sustain me mentally anymore for the most part. But I can get into the overcoming my fear and fear of death loop and think about it all day hehe. It’s probably my favorite thing to think about or at least what I spend most of my time thinking about. Especially while meditating.

That last thing I wanted to touch on with my fear of death, is how it was probably the main reason I never joined the army. In my heart, I always wanted to join, but that fear always kept me from doing it. It is one thing I really wish I could be able to say that I did. I have such a tremendous amount of respect for soldiers and our veterans. I really wanted to be able to say that I am or was one. It was definitely a life goal of mine, but could never overcome the fear in my mind. Would seem that I wasn’t meant to while on my journey here on Earth, God had other plans for me. I think soldiers will also have a certain level of prestige in Heaven and that their service will never be forgotten. I have a feeling that we will always celebrate a veteran’s day in Heaven for all Eternity.

Those are some of the general thoughts about the fear of death in my life though. It has greatly shaped my life and the way I think. A blessing and a curse. You wouldn’t normally think about the fear of death as a superpower, but I feel it might be elevated to that rank in my situation hehe. It has certainly played an important role in my life and I like to think in a lot of other people’s lives as well.

And that’s all I have to say about that…

An updated version! Hopefully I didn’t miss too many things I wanted to put in there. Was trying to keep it short and sweet! Enjoy!

I’m not convinced that Birth & Death are natural in existence. I actually think that it may point to intelligent design. Because in the base state of existence where no time exists and nothing should fade, it would seem logical that Birth & Death would have to have been created. I don’t believe it is something that could occur naturally in existence at all.

This is kind of new territory that I just started exploring in my mind the last couple days, so nothing is locked in yet. I have also been thinking about this and the existence of different dimensions. I feel we really may be in a different dimension from the base state of existence. One where God (Original Form) doesn’t exist but where it was created to be the battlefield between Lucifer (Holy Spirit 1.0) and Abram (Holy Spirit 2.0).

Wish I could talk to some experts on this idea of Birth & Death not being natural in existence. I am certainly very early on in my thinking about this. Would love to hear what other people think! Thought provoking stuff for sure.

The story of Adam and Eve and the forbidden fruit does ring a bit true for me when I think about the creation of Humans and the Human experience. I believe God was rather obsessed with giving us as much freedom of will as possible. For starters, he wants to live with fellow beings for eternity, not computers. I have a feeling that he also felt that we would also desire to have as much knowledge as possible as well. Lastly, I am also sure that God felt it was moral and ethical to give us as much freedom of will as possible.

I really think we are in this current situation because God gave us and the first Holy Spirit (Lucifer) too much freedom of will. He did this for the best possible reasons, but it has proven a bit disastrous. He let us bite the forbidden fruit and in his own way took a bite of the fruit himself.

We are seeing the consequences of too much freedom of will. To try and look at it through a positive lens, at least we’ll always have hard proof and a history of why we can’t have more freedom of will then we will have in Heaven. I believe we will have as much freedom of will that God can possibly give us.

I wonder though if in the Metaverse or Oasis if God wouldn’t let us play around with different levels of freedom of will as a philosophical exercise or ways of living. I think we will try out many different philosophical styles of living during our eternal lives. If you were to alter even one little thing like we wouldn’t have to sweat anymore in this world, it would make for a pretty big change. I think we will try out many different styles of living and write about them, make songs about them, try to get other people to try them, movies, etc. But I do feel in the base of our Heavenly existence, we will have the perfect amount of freedom of will. One that allows us to live our best lives. 

That is what the story of Adam & Eve and the Tree of Knowledge means to me though. I see it as the story of Freedom of Will. That God wanted to give us as much freedom of will as possible but ended up giving us a little too much. And now we are in the process of fixing the mess that it all caused, with the new and perfect world that God created waiting for us when this is over.

It’s so surreal to realize we are at the beginning of Human Creation and the Human Experience. It can be so hard to believe that we are living in that moment. Feels like it is something that would have happened to another group of people. But we are living in that moment. Heaven History. Mind blowing really. God has always existed and has created us to spend Eternity with him. Our lives are just beginning. Humans were just created. We are living in that moment.

Just been thinking about how easy it will be to enjoy life in Heaven. Where I really tend to focus on this is the pleasure circuit. I think about when you first get into a new hobby and how fun and exhilarating it is. I think about when you first fall in love and how great that is. And many other examples. The thing is, while on Earth these things tend to fade a bit or perhaps we need breaks, sometimes we completely lose interest. Rarely can someone keep the same amount of interest as when they first started.

I believe in Heaven that we could be wired to keep that same amount of interest if we really wanted to though. That our love for a hobby would never fade and always give ourselves the same amount of pleasure. If our brains were wired a certain way, we could really enjoy doing the same thing for all eternity and never lose interest or get bored. Our relationships would always stay exciting and great.

Tolerances can be good in certain instances though for sure, it leads to variety in life. If we were all just hyper focused on one thing that gave us immense enjoyment, we really wouldn’t get much done, and we wouldn’t enjoy the variety of life. Tolerances may play a vital role in our Earthly societies and serve an evolutionary purpose. Tolerances may have allowed our minds to break free from simple thinking. Otherwise we may have the mind of a fish or something of that nature. Only focusing on a few things.

But I find it heartening to think that we could be wired to get immense enjoyment out of one activity in Heaven. That we would be completely happy doing it for all eternity. Makes me worry less about getting too bored and all that. That boredom is something that I’m sure if God really wanted to, could wire it out of our brains. I feel that in Heaven boredom would potentially be our greatest enemy. But, when I think along these lines, I imagine that won’t be a problem at all. More a matter of finding an optimal pleasure circuit in which we will still want to enjoy a wide variety of things and establish a rich culture.

Add it all into a sinless society, and life will be great beyond our imagining!