To begin, this is coming from someone who spent day after day wishing that a meteor would hit this planet and wipe everyone out…
I was extremely mad that I was in this initiation/bet, I couldn’t believe that people were doing this to me. I was mad at the people on the evil side for doing this to me, mad at my own side for putting me in this situation, and mad that it seemed no one was doing anything to get me out of it.
I hated the world and everyone in it… even people not directly involved, I felt no one was immune to whispering mean or confusing things to me when I walked past. When I went anywhere, people were always saying things, even you reading this would have had to do it… So, my anger was directed towards everyone.
I call it extreme bullying, and many people who have been bullied can most likely relate… which is also why I am extremely against bullying… driving people to the point of suicide or revengeful thoughts is a horrible thing to experience. So, I am directing this to them and everyone else that may take something away from it.
Now, what I am going to say takes patience, you have to be a very patient person… and I am not even going to say that people don’t deserve a little taste of hell.
What I am going to say is let God take care of it… because God Gets Even… I even have the mantra tattooed on my leg under a picture of a monk meditating. A big part of going through pain, is not wanting someone to get away with it, thinking that this person or those people may go their whole lives without getting the karma owed to them.
But, you have to start thinking and believing that everything will be all square and even in heaven, and God will know the exact punishment he wants to give the person, the appropriate punishment… That in this life or the next that karma will catch up to that person, guaranteed.
All my anger I channeled towards this mantra, imagining what God is going to do to them when they leave this earth, knowing that he had my back. At times I would almost start to feel bad for people, that they had so much hell coming, you know? But, I decided I was just going to stick to that basic principle.
It is the first step, when you are seriously depressed and angry because of what other people have done to you… knowing that you can let it go, because it is all going to be taken care of, no one is getting away with anything, God just can’t handle it directly at this point, you have to be patient.
The next phase is forgiveness, and I don’t even say to forgive people because they deserve it, but because you deserve to be released from the hate and the pain it is causing… “holding in hate, is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies” – Not sure where the quote comes from, but I am a big fan. Being mad at people, is only going to continue to make you miserable. It took me a long time to let go and forgive… part of my thinking was, these people don’t deserve to see me happy, they need to know I hate them, I felt like my hate was punishing them… But you have to learn to let it go.
Another little trick I call, The Stockholm syndrome method… it’s believing and even telling other people that you have Stockholm syndrome… it is when you are in a bad situation, but in order to find happiness in the situation, you have like these delusional thoughts… so named after a bank heist in some country when the hostages began siding with the people that made them hostages, even defending them to the police after… Can happen when a kidnapped victim may learn to love someone that kidnapped them because their mind is trying anything it can do to be happy.
But, I would tell myself and other people, I hate you all, but I am going to learn to love you, so that I can be happy… but it is a little mental trick that will satisfy your mind, it will allow you to start to let go and learn to love again.
I was in a deep dark place… and it is a miracle I pulled myself out of it. These were a few of the methods that helped me climb out of hell… God Gets Even, Forgiveness, and Stockholm syndrome.
I mean, I am a pretty dang happy person considering my situation. Which, it seems to be getting better…