Another day in the therapy chair…

College starts back up in about 1 month… Not really looking forward to it this semester, at least not a full schedule. I wouldn’t mind taking a class or two every semester for the foreseeable future, but will see how a few things play out for now… 

Best case scenario is that this hearing judge looks at my disability case and says yes without it needing to go to a trial… that would be most excellent. I am not sure what the turnaround is at this point in time though… I assume my disability lawyer is gathering the evidence and drawing up a case to present, then it has to make its way in front of the judge. I’m not convinced that I could have a decision within the next month before school starts though, I will most likely have to go through a full schedule this next semester. Blah… 

We will see though, never know I guess… I do know even if you get disability, it takes like 6 months until you start getting money… which I could probably figure something out during that time… 

Doing this already puts me at a good place of exhaustion I feel… Will be a bit of overkill once school begins… I will survive though… Perhaps I may not try as hard this time around, although I definitely like to get assignments done on time. Maybe I am making it out to be worse in my head than it actually will be. 

If do get disability though, there may be a decent chance I still take a class or two every semester… may just be a lifelong student, I think it is good for me, good for coming up with ideas and being engaged with society as well.  

I sit here and worry that I will become detached from the world a bit. The news was such a good place to be up to date, see new ideas, see popular trending things, new inventions, etc… I worry as I stop watching news, I will be out of the loop, perhaps talking about things that aren’t important to people anymore, if you know what I mean.  

Not that I want to comment on current politics… I actually think for the rest of my life that I should be detached from politics… I don’t want to sound conceited, but I feel I may have too much influence, even if I only get one vote, my influence is too much… which I should also add that it makes life for me much more dangerous as well, whether it be people wanting to control an influential person or silence them for sharing ideas people don’t like…  many different reasons… But, I should probably be retired for the most part… I plan to have no power… just enjoy life and try to work on connecting with the holy spirit, spiritual guidance and helping people enjoy life… 

So, I don’t mind that all the political news I see any more is fake, probably helps keep me out of trouble for sure… But, I would like some version of the news… I definitely like the news platform to know what is going on… I like the way it is presented, so much that I use to watch 8-20 hours a day, pretty much every waking moment. Hopefully someday though, we can develop some programming for me to be in the loop, but not too much in the loop, at least on a political level… I would like topics to talk about and give my opinion on, that don’t excite riots in the streets or cause many people to want to kill me… 

So, college could be a good way to keep me in the loop a bit, if I avoid political science of course Haha. Plus give me things to think about and share my opinion on. I think taking a class or two could fulfill the news gap in my life a bit possibly… maybe even like creative writing wouldn’t be that bad, even just to produce some non-fiction ideas people like. I don’t know… I enjoy entertaining people and trying to improve their lives… 

I have been having a desire to watch the news for that reason though, not to stay up to date politically, but because I want to stay up to date on other things… which you may say, I could probably listen to specific podcasts and things like that… which maybe I should… I just really like the way news stations present things to me. I just have a feeling almost everything presented to me is fake anymore in a way… podcasts even…  There is this grand illusion before me… that engulfs everything around me… I think it is a massive project…  

An Ever Quest 2 comeback sounds enjoyable when I have the time…maybe… My biggest fear with that is carpel tunnel syndrome… I play it soooo much… that would literally be the only reason I may not make a comeback, another thing to wait until I got to heaven… Might be worth the risk… even my fingers start to hurt just from clicking the mouse so much though… The struggle is real… I love the game, even though I can’t completely enjoy it yet. 

I guess I will tackle all these hurdles when I come to them though… it is nice to at least feel like there may be some options on the table for now… if things work out. 

I of course even pondered if I could use my disability to rent out a storefront downtown, if I got it… Maybe set up a little coffee bar, put some tables in there, poker table, paint, write, sell my paintings, maybe start a book club, chess… Make like my own little social club… Maybe… I would probably have to talk to a lawyer to see if that would be ok though… Have a no talking about politics policy hehe… But, perhaps it may be a way for me to have a social life… But, of course exposing myself that much to people I really don’t know, may sound like a better idea in my head than it will actually be…  

Just another day in the therapist’s chair… 

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