Hanging in there…

Got some much-needed sleep last night, I only slept a couple hours the night before. Mentally have been going through a bit lately, I seem to be getting better though. Progress normally comes with some side effect or another. But, overall, I have not been thinking very negative, not too many overly racing thoughts that get away from me, and nothing too depressive…. I have just been feeling a bit hazy as I progress, although I feel I can see the light on the other side of the tunnel. 

It didn’t help that my medicine was two weeks late, I get a shot every two weeks, but do too some complications it didn’t get to me for a month…. I have some schizophrenic thoughts about the matter… I didn’t seem to go through any noticeable withdrawal or anything, so that was good. When I started taking the medicine again it definitely tranquilized me quite a bit, which was good and bad, probably better than the bad, but it wasn’t the best timing with all this being the first week of school. 

School has been going pretty good, but I think it is going to be a long semester, I just feel mentally exhausted already, I wish I was just taking one or two classes. Just have to remember to take it one day at a time. My main goal this semester isn’t to make the President’s list, rather to just get every assignment in on time. Over a 3.0 would be nice, we will see what happens. 

Been getting into Everquest 2 the last couple weeks, been having some fun, hopefully I will have some free time to play throughout the semester. I think I will, being done with all my math classes is definitely a bonus. So far, it looks like I should have some more downtime than previous semesters. 

On another note, I won a little scholarship for the next year. It is for overcoming hardships in life to get back to school. I have to go to a dinner at the school to receive it… I might of course enter into imagination land, and pretend I am going to some Nobel prize acceptance dinner haha, would make it all the more exciting hehe. I say that jokingly, but that is probably what I will do mentally when I go there. Could definitely be the case, you never know in my circumstances. 

I will try to write some ideas here and there, I just get so exhausted with school that I don’t feel too much like writing another 500-word essay or whatever. Wanted to give you all a little update though, hanging in there, still waiting to hear about disability. Still looking into back up plans just in case, I found a SUNY online school that has journalism, very exciting, it was hidden in a cultural studies department, but I found it. I think that is where I would like to go. Would certainly be much more cost effective than many schools. 

That is a little bit about what has been going on though… hanging in there is a good way to sum up the last couple weeks… Maybe I will adjust a bit as the semester progresses, I don’t think the whole thing with the medicine helped either, perhaps once that gets back to normal as well, it will be better. Also, playing EQ2 is a whole different level of mindfulness that rewires my brain a little. I can sit there for hours and hours and play… Even in my sleep my mind was trying to get me to play on the computer the other night… So, my brain seems to like it… 

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