The more you Yell, the more you will have to Yell…

My thoughts can sometimes go against contemporary views of psychology…  

I for one am for internalizing problems… Or I could say, eventually internalizing problems, as some stressors become too overwhelming to internalize for some time… 

I am for allowing the subconscious brain to learn mental paths, that allow it to deal with problems in the fastest way possible, to also allow it to learn to deal with problems without needing outside influences… to allow your subconscious brain to find a healthy way to deal with a stressor and achieve homeostasis… 

Your brain wants to achieve homeostasis… it doesn’t want to be stressed out… when a new stressor comes into your life, your brain will start working tirelessly to find the right mental paths to make the stress go away as fast as possible, which it can take a great deal of trial and error… 

The thing is though, if you allow your brain to figure out how deal with a stressor… it can then use those same mental paths when you deal with that stressor or a similar stressor again… which eventually something that had previously stressed you out, won’t stress you out the next time, because your brain figured out the best way to deal with it… it is why your first heartbreak is usually the hardest, and following ones are dealt with much faster and easier… it isn’t as much that you are growing numb, rather your brain is figuring out how to deal with that stressor rather efficiently, it knows just the right mental paths to use, eventually it can all happen rather subconsciously… 

That is why I tend to be against venting for the most part, especially unhealthy venting… venting is a shortcut… If I start yelling when I am stressed out, to relieve the stress, that is how my brain is learning to deal with the problem… it isn’t learning how to properly deal with it… it is learning that if you yell, you can get a quick release from the pain… You are teaching it an unhealthy way to deal with stress… which the more you yell, the more you will have to yell… eventually your brain will try to use yelling for every single problem, every little thing… you will start yelling and venting about everything… trust me, I know… 

Which your brain will start trying to make you yell as well, because that is what you taught it… so when a little problem comes up, your brain will start making it worse and worse in your head and bringing up every other thing that makes you mad in order to make you mad enough to yell and get it all out of your system… It just turns into a terrible existence of constantly being mad over every little thing and yelling about everything… it literally hurts being that angry all the time… you don’t want to kill yourself because your depressed, you want to kill yourself because the anger and yelling/venting hurts… 

Yelling is a shortcut… drinking is a shortcut… drugs are a shortcut… they are all bad ways of teaching your brain how to deal with problems… your brain starts to think they are the only way to deal with problems and will do everything in its power for you to use the shortcut… it will use every trick in the book… will remind you of all the good times you had drinking if it needs to, whatever it needs to do in order for you to use your shortcut… 

The thing is, sometimes some things happen in our life that are too overwhelming… too many stressors we have never dealt with all come at us at once…. we pretty much need to vent at that point in time… that is a good time to learn good venting habits like breathing techniques, meditation, mindfulness, writing, journaling, working out, talking to a therapist, etc… there are healthier shortcuts and ways to vent… the thing is though, these are also things that your brain can get addicted to as shortcuts… that is why I say eventually the goal is to internalize everything and teach your brain healthy mental paths to deal with problems in the future… As the things become less stressful you can further internalize them and have your subconscious learn how to deal with them on their own… Not that meditation, mindfulness, working out aren’t good things to practice regularly as well, they also become a proactive solution as well… But you don’t want to feel like you need to be in the gym all hours of the day to get some stress out, you know what I mean… 

It is important to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel… also important to realized it can be a long path if your brain has managed to get really screwed up… there are no magic pills that take the pain away overnight… you are in for a fight… starts off with just a little relief here and there, but those times start to happen more often and last longer… its two steps forward one step back, you will slip up sometimes on your journey, but they become less and less and start to feel out of character… eventually its 3 steps forward, 1 step back… then 4… then 5… they key is to never give up…  

I will probably have a separate blog post about the long road of recovery, can take years and a lot of will power… 

It hurts when you start to internalize anger… I know from experience… It is a long-term gain, short term pain type situation… Many people will probably worry they are going to have a heart attack or something, that has always been a source of fear when internalizing things… there might be some truth in it, but it is probably worse on your heart in the long term if you continue the horrible cycle of anger and venting/yelling/alcohol/drugs… check with your medical professionals of course, as I am not a doctor… I just know that eventually if you want to have a healthy brain you are going to have to learn to internalize things and let your brain figure out ways to deal with things on its own… not with venting shortcuts… 

Just some short thoughts on the topic… the more you yell, the more you will have to yell… Rings very true in my own life story…