My first article packages are on the way!

Well, I got my core 4 articles done and shipped out to their destination. I put together 5 packages and sent them to newspapers. The core 4 refers to the initial articles I plan to send out while attempting to self-syndicate. I think they are good examples of my writing and will hopefully help establish an audience. I will eventually put the core 4 articles on the website, after someone has printed them, whether an outside newspaper or my college newspaper, I would like to have them in true column format when I post them. One you have already seen, if you have read “A case for God in my Articles section”. 

Of course, this was all greeted with mad looking faces by most everybody I have seen, not to mention when I got in the car to take them to the post office, a song saying you are going to get shot or something like that came on over the radio. Just to screw with me I am sure… schizophrenic I know… Hopefully it is a little bit of a nail in the coffin type situation, it would be really cool if I got picked up by newspapers and this all took off a bit, but I also wonder if this might be a good bartering tool for disability. I feel like what I am doing is within the rules of this initiation/bet, I personally think the articles are newspaper worthy, if not Nobel prize worthy. Plus, I would be working for someone. To me, I feel like if I don’t hear back from anyone, perhaps it is helping to reach a deal for disability. 

I don’t think my enemy likes the idea of me having a successful career that keeps me busy and grants me more of a social life… I am also not so sure that my own side wants me to have this career take off for various reasons… To, me, I think it might make both sides think they are winning, if I just get disability instead, and they can still make it all look like I have extreme and severe schizophrenia, and nothing works out for me….  

I definitely don’t know all the rules of this initiation/bet (about me section), but I may be in a pretty good position with some potential improvements coming to my life. Part of me thinks my enemy is rather desperate at the moment, at times, I feel like they are spending quite a bit of cash to try and make me miserable, especially lately. Perhaps they think their windows of opportunity are closing rapidly. It would be nice to get in a situation where I am feeling good and comfortable and my enemy starts to see their endeavor as hopeless… Especially if a lot of them are getting older… 

I hate talking about my enemy or my situation, they will go to any length within the rules of the initiation/bet to make sure things don’t go the way I plan… especially if I have a plan and talk about it, especially if I mention things like I think they are getting desperate… I think that drives them nuts and angry in dark and deep ways, they don’t want to rest until they wipe the smile off of my face… They are truly evil… this will for sure, really bring out that evil demon inside all of them… 

Hopefully though, I have finally found something that will make me comfortable within the rules and they can’t do anything about it, or have to make a deal for something else that I want… 

I should expect a heavy effort to make me miserable after writing this… I am just getting so use to it all anymore, much of their usual antics just don’t affect me the same way they use too… 

I am asking for it… it is sad I even have to say that, that there are people that evil in the world… but that is part of my learned helplessness, not to poke the devil bear at all… Or suffer the consequences, because unfortunately they have too much power over my life right now… 

Of course, I always think at the end of these things… severe and chronic schizophrenia… does talking about my enemy have to be considered schizophrenic thoughts? This is what I think down to the depths of my soul… 

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