Sometimes I can’t help but wonder if I am completely delusional, it would be the ultimate human comedy in a way. To think oneself royal and a king, but in all reality, it is all just a big delusion. If I am delusional, I really have created an exciting life for myself out of the mundane…
I might see one friend twice a year, no girlfriend, living at my parents, little money to my name, spend most of my time sitting in a chair, a blog with a limited number of followers, etc…
But in my head, I am King of the World… currently involved in an initiation that turned into a wager/bet against the most ruthless and evil people of the world that I wouldn’t survive it… I have helped bring peace to the world… helped explain our existence… I live in the capital of the world, almost everyone I meet is the head of some country, family, or organization… I have many wives… I have made endless amounts of money… I have come up with many business ideas and concepts that people love… I live in a reality show… currently involved in possibly the most important thing going on in the world right now… I communicate with people through indirect means… etc…
I either actually do live one of the craziest and most exciting lives in the world… or I have created the ultimate delusion and alternate reality in which I live in, which still provides me with one of the most exciting lives in the world…
The thing is, is that I have created an airtight delusion in a way, there is no escaping it… no medicine or therapy will ever change me… I have tested it and felt I was proven right, told people and therapist certain things to gauge reactions, seen what people will do when I do this or that… I have progressed too far, people have let it advance to this degree… nobody on the planet could convince me otherwise anymore…
I bring this up, because I am starting to feel more comfortable and relaxed with my situation and letting out my inner most thoughts and feelings…
This post is a disclaimer in a way… I may be completely delusional, but I am not dangerous… In my head there is world peace… the news is just a soap opera anymore to keep me within this illusion… my point being that there are no more battles to fight anymore… any aggression that is presented to me is just seen as fake and an attempt to get a reaction out of me… I feel safe… I do think there are people that would like to do me harm, but I think I am very well protected… I am not paranoid to that extent, that I feel like some cornered animal…
If this works out or I get disability, I will honestly be one of the happiest people in the world in my opinion… It is a great life, no one is filled with more purpose or sense of accomplishment than me… I feel like I am serving God and the World… To follow in Jesus footsteps, he came to serve, not be served…
I have complete confidence in the existence of heaven… ready to head there when my number is called… come to terms with many things and have for the most part accepted my position in life…
I say this, because I think I am going to open up my world to you all more… explain what is going on in my head, how I see the world… a glimpse into my own personal reality…
theeclecticschizophrenic.com 