Well, I am definitely disappointed I got denied disability. Maybe there is some slim chance that I will get approved by the appeal council, if of course my lawyer decides that is a good option to pursue… either way I am not so sure that is any longer something I should rest my hopes on…
I need a new Path… A new mental path… A vision that is a path of least resistance for my brain… I think I have found one.
I think I will chase down what I originally went back to school for… to be a therapist/counselor…
I got a little sidetracked during school, but what is good, is that I took classes to help me along that career path… I am pretty sure if I go back to a 4-year school that all my general education is done as well, which is good, that is one of the things that did me in many years ago during my first go at school… I should just have classes left to do that I will enjoy doing for the most part, although I am sure they will still be mentally exhausting.
If I managed to get over all the hurdles, I think I may actually like being a therapist… it may prove to be a rather beneficial symbiotic relationship between me and my clients. I rather enjoy talking to people and trying to help them with any problems they might be having. It will hopefully be along the lines of, if you enjoy what you are doing you will never work a day in your life… Talking with people, getting inside their heads a bit, and trying to help them seems like one of the only jobs I would actually be able to do really, at least comfortably… especially since it doesn’t look like this writing endeavor is going to work out…
Hopefully if I apply for this schizophrenia scholarship I have looked into, it may help with finances… I worry about the debt, but I think this is probably what I should do regardless… it definitely puts the pressure on to succeed with the mission. Anything short of being a licensed therapist does not seem very appealing in my opinion. Hopefully I can pull it off… A man on a mission for sure… will not be a walk in the park… getting into graduate school will certainly be a big hurdle…
When I get back to school, I definitely want to start picking some teachers brains… I really want to be a faith based/spiritual counselor… It is my personal belief that therapy doesn’t work that well unless it is centered around God and Heaven. If I could use theology and spiritual guidance in my practice, I would really be in my element. I am just not sure what the laws are regarding a licensed therapist using a spiritual angle, I will have a lot to learn for sure. I am not so sure that I want to be a therapist for a specific religion either, but I still want to counsel from a spiritual angle… Like I was saying, I will need to pick some teachers brains and figure out a career path… If I end up just having to be some cookie cutter therapist to make a living, perhaps that is what I will have to do… In the back of my mind, I always feel like I can’t use my intelligence that much while I am in this initiation/bet, so I am not sure how much I can buck the system and still be successful… May be something that I just have to fall in line with…
I think this is the path I need to walk down though… seems the most mentally appealing, even with its challenges… what have I got to lose?
theeclecticschizophrenic.com 