Do you think the World will end in 2019? 

What a wild journal prompt to find today… decided to give it a shot… 

I don’t think the World will end in 2019, but I wish it would. I wish something like a giant solar flare would hit us that could take us out instantly without us even knowing what happened. 

If you know me and my belief system, I feel Earth’s primary objective has been completed in somewhat recent years. I personally have come to believe that this universe was created as a Trap for the Devil. Which I now believe that the Devil is here on earth and on the other side of this initiation/bet… He is trapped… 

I have come to believe that my enemy and their followers is like the Church of Satan in a way… that they had found a way to communicate and be led by him, and eventually the devil was manifested here in general… You can read more about that theory in the blog post, “Why do bad things happen to good people?” and my book, “Why I think I am God’s Son: Realist or Madman?”. I think it had a lot to do with getting people into a really evil mindset, that eventually the devil could begin to possess people or an individual. I actually believe it was possible to become possessed by the devil…  

I actually think that was part of what this initiation was originally designed to do… to make me evil, to give up my body and mind to the devil… although I managed to overcome their efforts… which then it became an effort to kill me and take me out of the picture… 

But anyways… I think our main purpose is fulfilled here in this Universe… I think it is all about Exit strategy now. That Humans should leave this planet. I am not for a mass suicide or anything like that, I think suicide is such a sad thing… I am for a nice graceful exit of Humans from the planet over the span of many years… maybe a thousand or two?… I wrote an article about it that I am trying to get published in papers, called “Why we should leave the Planet”… The basic idea would be to eventually have a last generation that wouldn’t birth any more humans here on Earth… 

A meteor or something like that would certainly not to be cool… part of my logic says that the Devil wouldn’t have committed so much effort to Earth if he thought it was going to be wiped out in the near future anyways… 

But a solar flare would be great… not see it coming, not feel it, just a blink of the eye… it would probably be better than even a rapture scenario… it would be the perfect exit strategy in many ways… Would save a lot of future pain and suffering… 

Plus, it would take out all of our animal buddies and send them to heaven as well…

When I think about God deciding to create people, I can’t imagine that this universe is what he had in mind. I would assume that he created other beings with the desire for companionship… 

I really think that at the core purpose of our existence is to be happy, be filled with love, have meaningful relationships, share ideas, etc… be a society that you would want to live an eternity with… that there is no super deep purpose to our existence in a way… not that those aren’t excellent reasons… but some philosopher’s in a way may describe that as a meaningless life in a way… not one designed with some grand purpose in mind… that we have some specific job to do or accomplish… (Helping God and each other fight boredom is very important though, why would we want to exist if all we ever wanted to do was kill ourselves out of boredom or loneliness? Existence is a gift but could certainly be a curse as evident by many lives lived here on Earth. But I will talk about that later) 

We always talk about finding purpose… many people would find it hard to live not helping people or something of that nature… many don’t think happiness is meaningful enough…  

But I think we come to feel that way here, because pain demands a higher level of purpose… 

To feel pain, we want a good explanation why… Why be brought into a world to feel pain? Why must others experience pain? This world is pain. We feel pain in one way or another basically every day of our lives, some obviously more than others. It is at such a level that many people come to feel guilty when they feel well, because why should they feel happy when other people are suffering? 

The pain of this Universe demands such a higher level of purpose… which I think I have provided that purpose, if you read my post, “Why do bad things happen to good people?” You can find purpose, meaning, and contentment with your existence and the pain you experience here… you can be a hero in the history books of heaven… You will see a bigger picture that extends beyond the borders of this universe, a purpose that connects this world to the next… It will be easier to find a higher calling on earth… You will feel like you have enrolled in God’s Army… To exist here is to already have great purpose, you can then attain higher and higher levels of it, to find ways to help other people’s suffering… 

The feelings make it worth believing… to believe it for a month, you would never want to believe anything else… 

I always challenge people to give me a fair shot at believing, believe it for a week or a month… if it doesn’t change your life, you can always go back to what you previously believed… there is nothing to be lost by trying a thought on for size for a while… 

I didn’t know where this post was going to go… I just thought it was an interesting thought and perspective how Pain Demands Purpose… then I just started writing and let it fly.

(Some thoughts (schizophrenic?) from the last few days) 

I feel like my enemy has started to feel like I have been getting too rosy a picture in my head of the world lately… 

I have started to feel like the battle for the minds and for the heart of the world is over… that essentially, the world war is over for the most part… that all is left now is this initiation/bet I am in… 

There is still a group of evil people on the other side of this bet, but they have lost all of their arguments for why people should be against me and with them… 

I think we are achieving happiness on levels never seen worldwide… I think the United States is the happiest it has ever been… 

I have come to feel that much of this initiation/bet is pay to play, that my enemies have to pay so much money to make my life miserable… which I used to feel that many people in the middle of all this use to donate to their cause for various reasons… but I have since come to believe that I have won over their hearts and minds… that the only people left against me, are just the evil people on the other side, they can no longer convince people to help them and donate… 

I could be wrong thinking people in the middle used to donate, perhaps it was all part of some evil illusion to make me feel a certain way… to try and make me mad at certain groups of people… although I think it was real and was all part of the battle over people’s mind… whether they would head to darkness or the light… it was mainly a battle over people’s minds that were depressed or already in a dark place due to many different reasons… 

But I think that is over… I think everyone is happy with me now and wants to see me happy… 

Recently though, the evil side has been making a push to make me think that the battle of minds still wages on… that people are donating and wish me harm… trying to make me think that there is still a large group of people that are miserable and want everyone to be as miserable as them… Trying to make me walk on eggshells with what I say or give up writing altogether…  

I think you may get the basic jist… 

I think there are absolute geniuses on the other side… people that would be some of the best psychologists in the world, but choose to use their abilities for evil… that they have devoted themselves to getting inside my head and trying to make me miserable and want to kill myself… 

I always forget that many of them on the other side probably still generate money and can continue to fund evil deeds… that there may never be a stop to the attempts to make me miserable while I am in this… I have to remember to tell myself when I think some money is getting spent against me now, that it is just coming from them and not being donated by the rest of society… 

I think they are working with limited funds now and always have to try and get the biggest bang for the buck… perhaps even little by little their members are leaving and switching sides… 

But when I say something in a post like the inmates are running the asylum, that is like a perfect chance to attack… to make me think I insulted a lot of depressed and angry people that want to get even with me for saying something that could be seen as potentially mean… 

They have been attempting to produce a whole slew of thoughts within my head lately to try and tarnish my world view… but I am choosing to believe that the war of the hearts and minds is over now… this is just limited funds trying to be spent in the most efficient way possible… that this too shall pass… 

I am committed to press through and not believe this negativity… the pursuit of happiness continues…

I was looking up journal prompts this morning and came across the question, what is your favorite song? The first song that came to my mind was “I should have known it” by Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers… 

It didn’t pop in my head just because it provoked a certain set of emotions within me, which it does and I have played the song when conquering some difficulties in my life, but because I feel it cemented Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers as one of, if not the best, garage band of all time… 

They are the every band’s band in a way, everything about them seems so attainable… There is no real novelty there, while I love Tom Petty’s voice, it isn’t that 1 in a million voice that can give many bands an edge… Much of the instrumentals can be easily duplicated… nothing about the basic makeup and general skill set is extremely unique…  

I say these things with the best possible intentions… 

That is why so many bands have played so many of their songs, many bands can play these songs well…  

They share the same ingredients as a million other bands… yet they weave masterpiece after masterpiece with those ingredients… They don’t reinvent themselves… They manage to stay within the same sphere, yet are amazingly creative within it… always giving bands that next song they want to add to their repertoire… 

Which this run has spanned decades now… Tom Petty rocked until the day he died… Many would argue and I certainly would, that they were just getting better and better with age… The World truly lost something special when Petty died… 

When I first heard, “I Should Have known It”, I was thinking, this is like as garage band as it gets, I gatta get in front of a microphone and let some vocals fly… haha 

I can just picture an album cover for these guys… cartoon I am thinking… looking like scientists mixing the ingredients for some amazing songs…

In this Internet era, it seems that many can quickly pander to a very vocal minority. Politics, movies, video games, advertising, etc… all infected by this influence… 

Like for instance with a video game, you may have a lot of people that buy and enjoy a game… but many of those people won’t go out of their way to get on the internet and give feedback or talk about in forums or whatever avenue… which many of the gamers that do may be on the extreme end of the gaming spectrum, whether playing much more than the average person, perhaps above the skill level of the average gamer, etc… they just play the game and look at the game much different than the average player and with much more intensity… 

I feel a good example of this was Guitar Hero… Many people liked the classic rock songs and the more relaxed feel of the game, it was more a jam session for many of us that aren’t real guitar players… I used to love to just come home from a long day of work and have a nice jam session where I didn’t have to think very much, and it wasn’t very intense… 

But gradually the game got much more intense and started catering to the gamers on the extreme end… also the most vocal players to the developers… Everything was getting harder and faster, much more into metal and intense songs that required a lot of attention and skill… Gamers like me decided to check out, it was no longer fun for us, which I think I am much more representative of the majority… then eventually the game in general really kinda tanked… 

But this general series of events has become the norm across almost everything… Companies, movies, video games, politics, etc… are becoming more and more detached from the vast majority of people. They all cater more and more to the vocal minority… the much more extreme ends of the spectrum…  

Which, of course with the internet being relatively new, it just seems that many have not adjusted to this sociological phenomenon… People and companies rely too much on what they read or is trending on the internet, as if they are the only participants in our society… I just don’t think the real majority cares as much to get on the internet and comment, discuss, and give their opinion about everything… 

But, as a representative of the silent majority now, I hope we can figure something out to regain the connection we once had… that people may be able to look past the vocal minority and see to the heart of the majority of people… 

This has not been the worst thing that has ever happened though, in a way I think it may have been good for society, because many of these vocal minority tend to suffer from depression, anxiety, etc… come from broken homes, have been abused, etc… they needed the attention and for people to cater to them a bit, it may have saved a lot of people’s lives ya know? Their voice was heard by someone, they didn’t feel powerless to their situation… 

Which we can live in a society that can work to help both of course… Guitar Hero can make fun songs for the majority and still have hard songs for the minority… 

I am not exactly sure where I am going with this… but more making industries realize they have lost connection with the majority in many ways… that they need to change their research methods a bit… 

I am personally finally a little sick of it anyways, not to be mean… it’s just everything is being produced and done for this Vocal Minority, nothing really seems as entertaining anymore and I do think it has had some negative effects on society in general…  

The inmates are running the asylum a little bit these days… 

But, as I said, it is good that they have finally been heard, maybe I am feeling a little like they did for many years ya know? But, let’s find ourselves the happy medium here…

Trying to stick with the festive spirit during this holiday time, I found a fun journal prompt on a website… 

Would you rather have an Elf or a Snowman as your best friend? 

For me it is really going to matter on how chipper the elf is, because if he is running at 100% chipper, we might have issues. I am definitely down to chill with a more down to earth elf for sure. I’m thinking Bernard from The Santa Clause, we will probably get along pretty well. One of the more overly festive ones, I am not so sure on a regular basis, maybe… 

They definitely present snowmen as much more down to earth in movies, but I have issues with hanging out in the cold too much. I read that some people with mental illness tend to be more cold than other people, and I think it is true in my case, my temperature runs a little low in general as well. Maybe if I created some sort of like glass box or bubble that comes into the house that is air conditioned for him… 

The snowman will have less mobility… either will have to move up north or he can only chill for a season, or you have to refrigerate him somehow… 

I think I am going with the Elf though for the most part… I also admire a hard worker as well, hopefully he doesn’t work so much that we never get to hang out! We also share a little more human characteristics in common. 

Conversation quality is obviously of utmost important… If I can really mesh well with the snowman, I would of course try and make it work out… 

Can’t I just be friends with everybody though?

If I could choose only one gift to give all of the children of the world, what would it be? 

At first, I wanted to say a Cross Necklace, which I could certainly make a nice argument for that, a nice symbol of sacrifice and serving others, a good starting point for guiding and developing a moral and righteous person, a good center for studying theology, and many other things… WWJD is a rather good philosophy when taken in proper context… 

But then I thought about my primary philosophy, that the World needs God and Heaven to create World Peace. In a world with God and Heaven I think all things can be explained, and we can find peace in almost any situation here on Earth. I hate to say it, but the world doesn’t necessarily need Jesus or any other religious figure to provide us with the moral compass we need. Sometimes I almost wonder if many of the prominent religious leaders across the world, may have all been Jesus, which perhaps someday I will discuss some of those hypothetical situations. It is definitely good to have people that can explain morals and things like that in a logical way though. 

But, one of my personally favorite items I own and have given to people is a pocket token that says, “With God, all things are possible”, which I truly believe is possible. Just because we live in a place right now where everything isn’t possible, doesn’t mean that God couldn’t create a world where not everything was possible, but that in heaven all things will be possible. The only thing I think might not be possible in any realm, is true time travel, but I will save that for another day. 

But to raise a child with a belief in heaven and a world where all their wildest dreams will come true is one of the greatest gifts you can give them. A place where they can be superman and whoever they want, they can be Santa Claus 🙂 You just have to make them understand that they had to come here and put in a little work and service to heaven as part of God’s Army, there is a job that needs to be accomplished here before we have the time of our lives in heaven. 

I would probably go with the pocket token… I want them to believe that the world of Harry Potter is real, that we can fly and search universes on spaceships, etc… those parts of existence are just waiting for us is all…

Just a bit of a fun one today and something I feel I have noticed the last so many years about ugly Christmas sweater parties… 

I am starting to think they are bringing Christmas sweaters back into fashion, perhaps even lifting our holiday spirit a bit. 

Take us back a bit to those Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra Christmas song days. Something has felt a bit lost over the years, that we lost some of that Christmas spirit. Now people want to start earlier and earlier every year… Not just for the marketing and all that, but for a genuine holiday spirit we are beginning to regain. 

I personally find myself liking a lot of sweaters I see at the parties… Maybe not the all-out ugly Christmas sweater parties where people make outlandish ones. But even that says something, because the original parties were made to wear those sweaters grandma got us, but now that those are coming into fashion, people have had to take the ugly Christmas sweater to a whole new level. 

I think this trend goes beyond just the fashion is cyclical notion though… because I think it falls more in the tradition category. Part of the Christmas Feng Shui, part of the festive spirit.  

We are starting to feel the mood that our Grandmothers were trying to pass down to us… it wasn’t just a sweater, but a piece of that holiday spirit and magic that they had felt. You might be able to call it the official jersey of the Christmas celebrating team. 

Before next Christmas I think I might pick up a sweater or two!

I woke up today with a rather clear head, the racing thoughts having been calmed quite a bit. It becomes difficult to hear my own voice in my head even. It leaves me with mixed emotions, it is a very relaxed mind feeling, makes me feel like watching a movie or something of that nature. Which is very good and what I should hope for… Calm is a great feeling, I feel completely in the moment and I almost can’t think. 

I have come a long way to calming my mind, to feel like I can’t think is a great accomplishment, I think I have told you guys this story before, but the first time that happened to me years ago scared me actually. I had gotten so use to my racing thoughts all the time, when I was dreaming one night and had found myself not thinking about anything, I actually woke up very frightened, I was almost worried I had lost my memory or something, like I had lost the ability to think. I was sitting up in my bed panicking, trying to think of absolutely anything I could. I have had to gradually get back to points like this, where I could feel comfortable with a relaxed mind. 

I should be very happy… I am… I just worry when I start to get involved with an idea like this blog and doing a podcast and all that I am losing my edge. My brain firing on all cylinders certainly sparks many thoughts and ideas, sometimes I can just sit there and write ideas in my idea book all day. 

So today when I awoke with my quiet mind and came into work, I sat there with my idea book trying to think of something… which I couldn’t really think of anything, and that makes me worry, which will in turn probably fire my brain back up… but I am not sure I want it to be fired up, I have to embrace this inner calmness and learn not to panic when I am in it, trust that ideas will still come to me, heck I will probably get many by watching movies and things like that. 

I also can’t be afraid to just have a day talking like this… that is the other concern, that if I don’t have that ground breaking thought every day, that this blog won’t work out… Everything has to have that wow factor. I do think I need to keep perhaps a better daily journal of just normal thoughts throughout the day… well normal to me anyways, having a conversation with the people on the news in the morning is just so normal to me anymore, it’s not like I think any of that is a big deal or interesting… So many things I think people tell me through indirect methods are meant to just help direct me a bit and not to be shared. 

Like I have been thinking about starting a 15-minute daily blog… I might start seeing more about starting the blog or hearing something like 15 minutes is good, etc… “The Army” and “My Family” you might say, trying to help encourage me to do things. These are things that some people might think to themselves as signs from God or the universe ya know… but I just think they are actual people trying to help direct me through my situation or to encourage me to do things that will make me happy. 

Sometimes I feel like “my family” or “the army” is trying to over micromanage my life, I can only take so many instructions or ideas about what I should do at a time… 

But it is all the time, I try to find meaning in many things that I see, I have to find a comfortable line of not trying to find meaning in every little tiny thing, that can get extremely exhausting… Example though: At the top of the stairs by the new office there is a bit of a low railing I worry about falling over, I have been thinking about getting a piece of plywood and putting it up to help eliminate the possibility of my falling off the second-floor stairs… I might then start seeing more things about cutting wood or construction in my Facebook news feed… to me it’s like people telling me I need to get on that ya know. 

I try not to complain too much about the micro-managing, because I feel it is a nice way for people to show that they care about me, makes me feel good. It is nice that people are worried about you getting in a car accident or something. Plus, all the little conversations and suggestions help fight the boredom throughout the day… it is just finding a happy medium, when they try to make too many things have a hidden meaning, then I might have trouble not looking at everything as a hidden meaning, which then I might make a meaning out of nothing, or take something that wasn’t meant to mean anything the wrong way… things like that… 

I am getting much better at it… Sometimes I think they even say things to get me to search out certain things on google to then get some message in that way… everything has to be indirect though ya know… nobody is allowed to directly say things as part of the rules… 

Random thoughts today…

This is more of a random thought post… but what are your thoughts on people that are not medical doctors wanting to be called doctor? 

I am normally strongly by the opinion… if someone yells out, “is there a Doctor here?” during a medical emergency, and you can’t raise your hand, then you shouldn’t expect society to call you a doctor in the public realm.  

I might on a personal level make an exception when in like a psychiatrist’s office or something like that. It could be considered important in the Psychiatrist/patient relationship to call them Doctor. It keeps the relationship much more professional. 

But I was watching the news the other day and the anchor even referred to a non-medical doctor as doctor, And I thought, is that what we are doing now? Is the news setting the precedent here and trying to change the societal norm a bit? Which, of course I wondered… what do I think about that? 

Could it be good for society to refer to people that achieved their doctorate by Dr.? To afford these people that privilege? I think society in a way is always trying to put a check on people’s ego’s… we don’t want people getting swelled heads and thinking they are better than everyone… thinking they are never wrong and always right just because of a few extra years of education. We give out status titles sparingly and to those deserving. 

But, if they could keep themselves grounded (maybe that should be part of their education), could it be good to allow this status title within our culture? We all tend to be so competitive and love our little victories and trophies and all that… would it be something that perhaps more people would strive for then? This top tier of education. 

Not something that should be demanded… many of us would quickly dislike someone if we called them Mr. or Mrs. Jones and they corrected us by saying, actually its Dr. Jones… We would be thinking, more like Dr. Douche… 

But, if through conversation or something we learned that you were a doctor, or someone else told us… or through humble means, could it be good for our children to see us afford these individuals a little extra status? A little trophy they may like to attain someday? 

I definitely am not trying to start a greater of argument over smarts and street smarts, and what jobs are more important, etc, etc… but it certainly benefits society when people are well educated… Even if you were a construction worker or something, it’s not like it would be a negative thing to have a doctorate degree… besides it going to people’s heads, it is a good thing in general… 

While it shouldn’t mean that someone is always right about everything, it might also help people to appreciate a person’s viewpoint more about a specialized topic anyways, give them a level of credibility. 

Then perhaps in medical emergency, we might yell, “is there a medical doctor in the house?”, or maybe when someone is yelling it is already implied… 

Something to think about anyways… my thoughts have strayed to the middle a bit… I think it was one of those things when they first started doing it, it went to everyone’s heads so much, society was like, we gatta put these people in their place a bit. But I wonder if it isn’t time to maybe give them another chance at wearing their titles. 

I used to laugh at the thought that there are two degrees of students… the one that is like, man college was really hard, I can’t believe I made it through, humble… then on the other side is the I graduated college, I am now officially smarter than everyone… Same degree, same grades, but come out with completely different mindsets…