As I have been moving further along with my journaling/blogging endeavor, I feel I am starting to become part of the greater community of journalers. It became clearer as I have been searching out new writing prompts and trying to find inspiration. There is a lot of information and ideas being shared by people that have been keeping a daily journal for years. I am certainly starting to find my stride a bit, trying out an eclectic approach to my blog. I know a lot of professional bloggers say the best thing to do, is find a way to help people, many seem to be very specific. Which, my blog doesn’t help people with a very specific thing, but I like to think some people might find it interesting and thought provoking. Perhaps following along like a novel series that continues to be written, along for the ride so to speak. I like to think it might help some people with anxiety as well for different reasons. 

The latest idea I have stumbled upon, given to me by a fellow journaler, is to take a quote and write what you think about it. So, I decided to try one out today… “I have always imagined that paradise will be some kind of library” – Jorge Luis Borges… I like the general concept of this idea, the idea of your mind having all of these endless adventures to go on, not mention, being able to relive your favorites whenever you want… 

I like to picture the actual adventure library in heaven… If you read my blog post “are morals in one dimension, different from another?”, you would know I subscribe to the idea of the zone in heaven, where we can go on any adventure we want and live out all of our fantasies, if you think of our dream world compared to our awake world in a way, a place to go mentally where there are completely different rules of reality. I think people will just keep coming up with new ideas to try out and people will have endless real adventures to go on. I also think we will have the ability to forget about previous times when we do them again, so we can re-live things again, for the first time.  

We should never get bored in heaven is my main point, I think that is one of the biggest concerns of existing and being capable of thought, it is the struggle to not be bored, to not be so bored that you would rather be dead. I think as far as heaven is concerned are primary goal is about chasing happiness and avoiding boredom. I personally think if we all lived long enough in this dimension, we would probably all end up killing ourselves at some point, even just out of sheer boredom… we get bored enough in 100 years and battle anxiety and depression… imagine living under these parameters and conditions for thousands or millions of years, just on entertainment alone, you would go nuts, it would all feel like groundhog’s day eventually. 

As eternal beings we need to have endless entertainment laid out before us, and the ability to relive things over again for the first time… I think those are two of the most important things of our existence… boredom is a killer… 

34 years have passed… another trip around the sun has come to its conclusion, onward to the big 35. I actually have to apply some effort to remembering my age anymore, I hardly ever think about. 

This last year seemed to go by pretty fast as I tried to spend as much of it living in the moment as possible. I was pleased I didn’t think about my birthday too much this year, whether it was some milestone of this initiation/bet (About me section) or that it would end today. My life doesn’t feel like it depends on this ending as much as it used to… before it felt like if it didn’t end, I may not make it another year or month longer dealing with my situation and depression. I feel a bit less hanging in there anyways… still hanging in there dealing with work every day, but that might change this next year. 

I felt a little rush of subconscious anxiety this morning, probably my mind coping with another birthday and I am still in this thing. Now I wonder if it isn’t over until I’m 40 or 50 even… It always felt so absolutely sinister, and I was in such a bad place, it was hard to imagine that people would sign up another human being to go through this for more than 10 years… But, perhaps, things of this magnitude, just don’t happen that easily, not even when that “easily” was already a nightmare. 

Still holding out hope for some changes in my favor this next year… seems like things are converging in a good way, but I never know if it isn’t just some sinister plan to get me as excited as possible for something to go right for me, only to have it all go wrong… 

Probably the best place I have been mentally in 10 years anyways… Coming to understand existence throughout this endeavor was certainly a plus… The pleasure of finding things out… 

Another thing I have thought about… is I think the schizophrenia started to creep into my life, maybe even a year or two before it all really hit home… I have revisited some old thoughts and realized I became a bit detached from reality, or you could say becoming aware of reality, in years prior. Very slightly in years prior, but I had some schizophrenic moments… I don’t know how to describe them… 

To me it was more like my whole life was spent in a haze… then the onset of schizophrenia over years, was the fog lifting from my eyes and mind… Like things became real, rather than losing reality… I started to look into people’s eyes and be overwhelmed by what I thought… like I was starting to make a connection with the universe… Started to think that people’s eyes were telling me something other than what they were saying… 

Tomorrow, my birthday, marks a special day for a couple reasons. One of which, is that two years ago, I became ordained as a Dudeist Priest of The Church of Latter-Day Dude. It was very fitting that as I have been stressed out a bit, later I was telling myself, I need to get in touch with my inner dude. Which inspired me to use some of my old dudeist rituals I used to perform when I was in stress recovery. So, I see it as a bit of fate that I was reminded of this recently, as in dudely fashion, I may have just forgot all about it. 

I think of dudeism as a real religion, believe it or not… I guess you could say that I see it as a sub-religion. I think you can be a catholic dudeist, jewish dudeist, muslim dudeist, buddhist dudeist, whatever… It is just that we will all unite in the universal religion of taking it easy… To be unmaterialistic, try to get along, roll with the punches, and let cooler heads prevail, to name of few of the qualities… Not to mention, Abiding to the universe… 

In my personal viewpoint, or sect of the religion… I look at the dude in The Big Lebowski as an over exaggeration of how I want to live my life… it is over exaggerated so that you can clearly get the message… Perhaps in retirement, people could more act like the dude, without the drinking and driving ofcourse! But, obviously there is a lot of work that needs to be done on this planet, a lot of hard work to even just survive… But as you will see on the dudeism website, there are poor dudeist and millionaire dudeist, hardworking dudeist and taking it easy dudeist… The overall message is there, and it is also an inspiration to make the most of your down time and try not to let stress get the best of you… path of least resistance… 

A ritual I might do, is listening to the soundtrack on the way to work, banging on my roof as lookin’ out my back door plays to start my day. Bowling at least once a week, I bought a dudeist glass to drink out of. Also, got a dude abides sticker for my car… little things to get that inner vibe going… watching big lebowski every once in a while, as a refresher… I bought playing cards that looked like the lebowski rug… Just trying to find little ways and reminders to get in touch with my inner dudeness… Making conscious efforts to block bad thoughts and thought stop… maybe do a little meditating on the rug… All the dude wanted was his rug back… 

I feel like if you watch the movie, you will better understand what I am talking about… you will probably have to watch it more than once, I found it to get funnier the second and third time I watched it… the first time, the movie didn’t really sink in, I didn’t register it all… Then the message sank in much more… 

But, thought I would share as my 2-year anniversary of dudeism is coming up… I have my certificate and letter of good standing framed on the wall! In dudeness we abide… now if I could ever remember to celebrate any of the holidays, I always forget… I don’t know if that makes me a good Dudeist Priest or a Bad one haha, probably depends on who you ask! 

Captains Log… 7/24/2018… hehe 

I realized today that I have a long few months ahead of me… My anxiety about this disability approval is definitely up there, I am sure it won’t go away. Hopefully I can put it in the back of my mind a bit. But, today I was thinking it had been like two weeks or so since I dropped off the paperwork to my lawyer, then I realized it was just a week ago…. blah… 

I think I might pull the trigger on sending out some articles to newspapers in hopes of self-syndicating a bit… I just want to get myself working from home asap… might help get my mind off this disability waiting game a bit.  

Some days I am at work and just get to thinking, I need to get myself out of here… I think everybody wants me to get out of there… 

I think my dad would be fine letting me go home whenever, but this initiation/bet has rules about all of this… I am thinking though, even if I could get a few newspapers to buy my articles, perhaps I could cut back a few hours in the meantime, while I am waiting to hear about disability. Would also be a jump start in case things don’t work out… I only work 2 ½ hours a day, but most days, I am pretty checked out and ready to leave within an hour… 

I am trying to remain hopeful that one of these things will work out… 

The other thing I have been worried about… is posts like this one… I worry I will lose my little audience with posts like these… Although, I enjoy talking about what is going on mentally, I am conflicted with thoughts of wanting to give an audience what they want to here… It seems to be a recurring theme in my life, an effort to find an audience for what I enjoy doing, rather than possibly giving a more general audience what they want…. It is true of my working life anyways… I want to sell art, but I want to sell art the way I enjoy painting it… Really though, at the heart of it, may just be a quest for some sanity and inner peace… 

So, posts like these, I hope to find the audience for people that like to follow my unique life and circumstances, that may find a trip into my mind fascinating and intriguing… 

The other day I was telling myself… honestly, what have you got to lose? Before this you were lucky to hang out with a friend once every month to six months… So, if I end up with nobody (visibly to me) reading, I’m more just back where I started you could say… Although, I would definitely like this to work out, therein lies the inner turmoil… what path might make this work out within the rules of the initiation/bet? I want the path in part to be laid out with posts like this… 

I think so much about what I might do, if I do get disability… I get my hopes up. Hopefully not setting myself up for some extreme disappointment. Like for instance, I might think about setting up a non-profit to sell my paintings through and donate to a charity… Been, thinking about some grand concept of a non-profit storefront that sells coffee and my paintings… perhaps could set up a poker table and the coffee tables, chess sets, the works… Perhaps there is a round-about way to live the dream in a way… I would love to play texas hold-em for pennies almost every day, paint, write, and chess… I’m wondering if there is some route as like the town schizophrenic ya know? Just go for it… throw it right in the newspaper… 

Maybe have a little popular non-profit shop that was composed of my favorite things that I could stop down at and partake in a little everyday… be a little bit of a charity case working for charity… 

Then I also think… even if I do get it… I will probably just be at home… I can’t help but think of exciting ideas and getting myself overly excited, to then just have a bit of a crash by thoughts of doubt… I would love to make something work out where I could play penny poker almost every day… and I tell myself, I can’t have that many cars at my house every day, it has to be in a storefront or something like that… 

Probably a huge not possible pipedream while I am in this initiation/bet (about me section)… 

I could always play online poker… online chess… give my paintings away… and write to my “imaginary” audience… I can do it all from home… just don’t get those social, person to person connections… I think too much about all of these things, but what else have I got to do? Hopefully something works out. 

Did you ever meet a famous person? The most famous people I feel I have met and know a bit would have to be a few members of the Jones family. Namely, Jon “Bones” Jones, Arthur Jones, and their father. I should add that I met them before they were famous. Jon and Arthur both wrestled at a nearby school within my section… One of the nicest families I have personally ever met, and I actually have a pretty interesting story about The Champ, Jon. 

My senior year, Jon and I wrestled each other at a tournament, he was just a freshman at the time. I believe I tech falled him in the 2nd period. But, I always tell people it wasn’t easy, I truly had to work for it and muscle through every move. I feel he would have been an excellent practice partner for me. Also, worth noting that 160 is a tough weight for a freshman, pretty much all you wrestle is juniors and seniors. 

So, that match happened, and time went on… I would later meet Arthur and their father. I met Arthur while sitting on the sidelines at matches and their father actually approached me after a tournament to congratulate me and shake my hand, told me he enjoyed watching me wrestle, he still has the biggest hands I have ever shook! Which, I would catch up with their father at an aau tournament later on, when I had a tough match against a tough wrestler while I was on break from college. 

But, here is the interesting story about Jon, at a tournament I had went to watch the next year or sometime, I think it was in my hometown. Jon comes up to me and says, I just wanted to shake your hand and thank you for kicking my ass, I never wanted to get my ass kicked like that ever again. Which if you know the rest of the story he became a one or two-time state champion and a junior college national champion, then went on to be the UFC champion… I am not sure how much drive I truly instilled in him, but it was a great compliment none the less, especially given his future career. Definitely a small world moment that the two of us would be joined like that in such a story… 

Which then brings me to some schizophrenic thoughts? I see so much of what happened with him and his career (the getting in trouble part), and think it was all just an act or part of this initiation/bet, I think they wanted to tarnish my viewpoint of him. I always told people, I thought Jon seemed like someone that would be a preacher, just such a genuine person with a genuine smile, I felt that after just briefly meeting him… just a very gentle heart person. Which, I realize the irony of saying that and him joining the UFC, but I am sure he looks at it purely as a sport. But, his whole family, was like that preacher son mindset in my opinion… So, that story would pop up at times when people would bring it up… Which, I always thought that his smack talking was purely an act! 

It got weird at times in my schizophrenic world, because any time people would bring up the story and things like that… I always felt like people were trying to tell me Jon was mad or that he wanted to fight me over it and things like that… it was a weird time, when anything and everything was manipulated against me… Then of course, I always felt I had a big audience, so when I talked I felt like Jon was listening… so in a weird way, there was like this communication and I felt we have bonded over the years… I actually think we are pretty good friends… very schizophrenic I know…  

That story is definitely true though, you can ask him yourself! Haha 

But, I would have to say between him and Arthur, are the two most famous people I know, and actually have an interesting story and connection with. 

I should add that I think almost everyone I know is famous now! Plus, probably famous people walk by me every day…  

But in conclusion, I don’t buy the bad boy image… I would have voted him most likely to be a preacher in my school. The story of him stopping the purse snatcher, that I would believe… 

I also have a short story about meeting some of the boondock saints actors and director, but I will save that for another day!

Fighting back a lot of anger and negative/dark thoughts today… making it hard to concentrate… But I will try and pull something together. 

I thought I might mention, how some atheists may be viewed as heaven’s undercover agents in a way. Especially atheists more on the science or understanding of the universe side of things… 

You will find many if not most religious people have trouble asking questions that they might not want the answer to… whether questioning the bible or various other things, the risk is high, if they find an answer they don’t like, it will destroy their world and mind… Avoid challenging their faith in any deep way… 

But, atheists have been known to relentlessly pursue any questions that might pop in their head… which in turn help explain the world and the universe… I actually think what they did, was help make the case for God even stronger when all is said and done… leading to a more fact-based religion than a religion more based on beliefs. To me, atheism is even a religion, it is just a belief system… in fact now it may take way much more belief to think that there is no God than that there is a God…  

I personally never saw how proving evolution to be true, proved that God didn’t exist for so many people… it just disproved a method suggested by the bible… I still think evolution can be seen as creationism… as they said in Southpark, it could explain how he did it. I also liked a quote from Big Bang Theory when Leonard describes his work of understanding the universe as saying to God, I see what you did there…  

But, today I figured I would focus on one of the positive aspects of atheists over the years and their relentless pursuit of truth and understanding, not afraid to ask and find questions that could greatly alter our understanding of God and our world… It was all questions that were going to be answered at some point, although there was certainly some side effects and casualties to the atheist perspective… but I will save that discussion for another day… Let’s just say I am happy we found answers and guidance from the atheist perspective before the initial notions of it wore off and we really started to ask ourselves as an entire society what it would mean to live in an existence, where this is the only life we have… it would change morals completely… example: Why not rob a bank if you don’t make that much money and don’t see your situation changing?  

To me… The old testament… books… things… ideas… are to get us to certain points as a world… to make sure things went the way they were supposed to… There was a plan… I personally think the Bible could be wrong in many ways and filled with many fables… but still be a very important book that helped shape the world and get us to where we needed to be. I have different theories about its creation and wonder what sort of spiritual guidance those that wrote it may have been given…  

I am sure this will all come up again… 

I am personally a new testament guy that will probably never read the old testament… I started to and got so far and felt, this book isn’t doing it anymore… it got us to a point… 

Which, the gay thing in the old testament comes up a lot… I may say something to Christians like… If being gay was as horrible as you all make it sound, and that it would destroy society, etc… you would think Jesus would have mentioned it at least once in his teachings… He went off about so many things he found sinful and harmful for the world… that didn’t even begin to show up on the radar. It is almost like by not saying something, he said it all… Which, he may not have spoken for gay people, because at the time that would have been considered heresy and his rise might have ended before it ever began…Just to make an argument, that even Jesus didn’t speak out against gay people though… 

I don’t know… stuff to think about… 

Today was a good day to take a step back from myself and feelings and be a “participant-observer”… I have been feeling a bit agitated lately, plus feeling like I have been slipping into a depression a bit… losing interest in what I am doing… Thinking of things I can’t do, but want to do, you could say I have been seeking out things to be mad about and to vent… 

So, I decided I should really take a moment and evaluate what is happening… often times things don’t always happen consciously right away, so I have to try and figure out what is going on subconsciously as well… 

I realized I was starting to misinterpret depressed feelings as how I would feel under normal circumstances, or as a way things would be from now on… Losing interest in your favorite things is not enjoyable, it adds to the depression, start to worry you won’t find things that will make you happy again… start thinking negatively. 

Anyways, I realized I was getting depressed and it would explain the loss of interest and my agitation, among other things… But, why am I depressed? 

I think I was dealing with an old habit subconsciously, before it made it to the surface… my mind was trying to fight it and hold it off… take care of it subconsciously, but some old feelings made their way through. Whenever I get excited, I inevitably start to feel feelings of doubt… I used to take it to extreme lengths, getting very mad at the world for being in this situation and things never working out for me, even though they should… So, I developed a lot of negative paths of thinking that are still trying to be broken…  

I really have come a long way to experience these feelings now and then just sit here calmly writing about it… I would have been a mess in the past. This bet involved a lot of making me excited about things and having them not work out… whether making me think it was all going to end at new year’s, or Easter… whether people might buy my book and I could stay at home… Making me think my art would sell… people saying they wanted to buy a mug and then wouldn’t… I had a lot of build ups and a lot of disappointments… so it’s really no wonder that I wouldn’t expect this all to be the same… that disability won’t work out… this endeavor won’t work out… I will not be in a favorable position for various other reasons… 

The plus note is that I am just more feeling a byproduct of the subconscious battle… I need to use good anxiety control methods on my end to try and keep it from making it all the way to the surface… although, the last couple days haven’t been super pleasant… 

I do think it feels different now, that one of these things might work out… trying to not get too excited and to manage my expectations… so if both fail I am not utterly disappointed… I have gotten a little better about not getting my hopes up in recent time, just trying to be happy in my current moment… 

So, I find myself back in one of these positions where I am waiting to see how something might play out… trying not to get caught up in a cycle of being excited one minute and then depressed at the thought of it not working out the next… 

This time it certainly feels different though… better conditions… I understand the game more… I am playing the game a bit better… In a better position within the game… 

But, I think I will regain my interest in what I am doing when my future is more certain… think I am just experiencing a bit of depression at the moment… going through a little what if this all doesn’t work out phase at the moment… 

It feels in a way like many things are coming together… like even some disappointments, I could see how there may be another angle to them… one thing may not be able to work out so that another can… 

Like, I feel there is a lot of money being spent to try and make me give up on this current endeavor… but maybe things aren’t working out as much with this, because things may be looking better for disability… I still wonder if by embarking on this endeavor doesn’t help me get disability… like a bargaining chip… perhaps this should be able to work out within the rules of the bet… but they would be willing to take the deal for disability… perhaps both sides will consider it a win…  

Hopefully can paint and write my way through the next so many months! They may be a little heavy on the anxiety, waiting to see how things work out… 

College starts back up in about 1 month… Not really looking forward to it this semester, at least not a full schedule. I wouldn’t mind taking a class or two every semester for the foreseeable future, but will see how a few things play out for now… 

Best case scenario is that this hearing judge looks at my disability case and says yes without it needing to go to a trial… that would be most excellent. I am not sure what the turnaround is at this point in time though… I assume my disability lawyer is gathering the evidence and drawing up a case to present, then it has to make its way in front of the judge. I’m not convinced that I could have a decision within the next month before school starts though, I will most likely have to go through a full schedule this next semester. Blah… 

We will see though, never know I guess… I do know even if you get disability, it takes like 6 months until you start getting money… which I could probably figure something out during that time… 

Doing this already puts me at a good place of exhaustion I feel… Will be a bit of overkill once school begins… I will survive though… Perhaps I may not try as hard this time around, although I definitely like to get assignments done on time. Maybe I am making it out to be worse in my head than it actually will be. 

If do get disability though, there may be a decent chance I still take a class or two every semester… may just be a lifelong student, I think it is good for me, good for coming up with ideas and being engaged with society as well.  

I sit here and worry that I will become detached from the world a bit. The news was such a good place to be up to date, see new ideas, see popular trending things, new inventions, etc… I worry as I stop watching news, I will be out of the loop, perhaps talking about things that aren’t important to people anymore, if you know what I mean.  

Not that I want to comment on current politics… I actually think for the rest of my life that I should be detached from politics… I don’t want to sound conceited, but I feel I may have too much influence, even if I only get one vote, my influence is too much… which I should also add that it makes life for me much more dangerous as well, whether it be people wanting to control an influential person or silence them for sharing ideas people don’t like…  many different reasons… But, I should probably be retired for the most part… I plan to have no power… just enjoy life and try to work on connecting with the holy spirit, spiritual guidance and helping people enjoy life… 

So, I don’t mind that all the political news I see any more is fake, probably helps keep me out of trouble for sure… But, I would like some version of the news… I definitely like the news platform to know what is going on… I like the way it is presented, so much that I use to watch 8-20 hours a day, pretty much every waking moment. Hopefully someday though, we can develop some programming for me to be in the loop, but not too much in the loop, at least on a political level… I would like topics to talk about and give my opinion on, that don’t excite riots in the streets or cause many people to want to kill me… 

So, college could be a good way to keep me in the loop a bit, if I avoid political science of course Haha. Plus give me things to think about and share my opinion on. I think taking a class or two could fulfill the news gap in my life a bit possibly… maybe even like creative writing wouldn’t be that bad, even just to produce some non-fiction ideas people like. I don’t know… I enjoy entertaining people and trying to improve their lives… 

I have been having a desire to watch the news for that reason though, not to stay up to date politically, but because I want to stay up to date on other things… which you may say, I could probably listen to specific podcasts and things like that… which maybe I should… I just really like the way news stations present things to me. I just have a feeling almost everything presented to me is fake anymore in a way… podcasts even…  There is this grand illusion before me… that engulfs everything around me… I think it is a massive project…  

An Ever Quest 2 comeback sounds enjoyable when I have the time…maybe… My biggest fear with that is carpel tunnel syndrome… I play it soooo much… that would literally be the only reason I may not make a comeback, another thing to wait until I got to heaven… Might be worth the risk… even my fingers start to hurt just from clicking the mouse so much though… The struggle is real… I love the game, even though I can’t completely enjoy it yet. 

I guess I will tackle all these hurdles when I come to them though… it is nice to at least feel like there may be some options on the table for now… if things work out. 

I of course even pondered if I could use my disability to rent out a storefront downtown, if I got it… Maybe set up a little coffee bar, put some tables in there, poker table, paint, write, sell my paintings, maybe start a book club, chess… Make like my own little social club… Maybe… I would probably have to talk to a lawyer to see if that would be ok though… Have a no talking about politics policy hehe… But, perhaps it may be a way for me to have a social life… But, of course exposing myself that much to people I really don’t know, may sound like a better idea in my head than it will actually be…  

Just another day in the therapist’s chair… 

Sometimes when I take myself back away from earth and look down at it… I wonder if as a population, we aren’t actually just a big brain in a way. Almost like our brains are little versions of the universe in the way… 

Stay with me now… And especially consider that we live in this free society where people choose their own paths as they are guided by the universe… But our brains have their logical side, creative side, memory, problem solving, etc… we have things like serotonin to fight depression, we have an immune system, etc…. 

So, when you look at the population, you have the memory as historians and people like that, we have problem solvers, we creative people, executives… we have people like therapists that act like serotonin trying to get rid of depression in the world, we have doctors and scientists as an immune system…  

But, to me, it is like we all work together as this giant brain in a way working toward achieving homeostasis and a perfect mental state… you can draw correlations from all over the place, could definitely make an argument for it anyways… 

So, our minds in a way are just like microcosms of the universe or the world… which I can go back to my theory of the only way that Jesus may come flying down from heaven… is if there is like some backdoor out of this place that is achieved by aligning the world a certain way… Like the world as a unit has to achieve inner peace and connect with the holy spirit… Open up some cross dimensional portal or what have you… Perhaps at the least if miracles are possible, it may alter medicine in a way, or will help us discover new knowledge or inventions… 

But, perhaps we are all very much connected like that… and maybe even connected with our environment in a way… that may factor into to everything… achieving the optimal conditions environmentally as well…  

A manifestation of the universe in a way… 

Far out dude… 

Do you like classical music? 

I definitely can’t say I listen to it very often… there have been a few occasions throughout my life where I was in the mood. But, for the most part, I do not listen or seek it out. I greatly respect classical music though, which may lead me to enjoy it more someday. 

I greatly respect it, because composing it, is an exceptional feat. These composers can write music for every instrument in the orchestra, many of them, can even play every instrument in the orchestra, pretty well I might add. Every instrument they can listen too, and know if it is in tune, what sound they would like to hear from it, and how to communicate that to everyone and get it all on paper. Which they then do their beautiful mind trick and put it all together to make music that extends throughout history. People are evaluating work from hundreds of years ago, they go to school for it. 

I think once you understand how truly hard classical music is, you will gain a whole new perspective on it. To make a sports analogy, a baseball game where there is a double shut out going into the 9th inning… Many people would consider it a very boring game, but people that understand how truly difficult that really is, and what a work of art these pitchers are performing in front of them, may find those to be their favorite games. Probably true for many things… but understanding the difficulty and complexity of something, makes you look at it in a whole new light. 

I just happen to really love vocals though… they are such a great instrument itself. Some songs, I don’t even have a clue what they said… like the red hot chili peppers, I don’t know the full lyrics to any of their songs, but the vocals are amazing and add so much to the music, I don’t need to understand it. Sometimes I actually hate when I do look at lyrics to some songs, because I like them so much until I see the message they are portraying… but, then I might ask myself, would that beautiful song I liked before I read the lyrics, still have been made if they had been different? Although, I definitely prefer if I like the message that goes along with the music. But, you know what I mean, there are some horrible lyric songs that are sung and orchestrated so well, that they are amazing in their own way. 

Which is why I took very kindly to the album Pet Sounds by the Beach Boys, written by Brian Wilson. Often called the Teenage Symphony, not understood and fully appreciated until later in time. What he did was absolutely amazing, especially when you realize how difficult it was and what he was doing to produce the album. It was actually well reviewed by critics but did poorly with the general public until years later. Knowing how difficult it all was, and really listening to all the different instruments in the background makes all the difference. I love it anyways, I love the story too, that this savant type member of a “boy band” dropped a symphony right into the middle of pop culture, slipped it in there. It is now in the argument for best album ever written to date. I was happy I came across it, I still get the urge to listen to it from time to time. 

There has been a new wave that has been sweeping the nation and world a little bit… orchestras were having trouble getting attendance and staying in business for a while, so they decided to try some new things to appeal to younger generations. One has been particularly popular with the gaming community… They play music and tracks from different video games, and I am sure some of their own, while they have different video game movies and footage playing on a giant screen in the background. It has actually become quite popular, I little like a laser light show in its own way… Thought I would share that little bit of information though, perhaps some of you might like to check it out. 

I could probably go on with some of my own stories from being in band and how highly I think of my own band instructor, but I will save that for a different day. I liked the sound of this prompt though and figured I would take a crack at it. While, I am sure many just love the sound of classical music… I think many more would come to like it when they fully appreciate the difficulty and complexity of it.  

My 2 cents anyways…